Mark Mazzanti

husband to Beth, father to 4, Papaw to Elle, Mark, Charlee, Thomas & Olivia, back in Texas

[Isabel Fernández @isafernan]

Lo más curioso del sujetador y de no llevarlo...

No es que uno sea mejor que el otro.

Es que responden a necesidades distintas.

Con el sujetador te miras y piensas:
"Hay que moldear la figura y necesito soporte."

Ir sin él te miras y piensas:
"Hoy necesito comodidad."

Y aunque parezcan opciones opuestas...
No lo son.

Una prioriza la sujeción.
La otra prioriza la libertad.

Después de un tiempo empiezas a verlo.
Hay días para una cosa.
Y días para la otra.

[Josh Hawkins @gentfromPanola]

Day 2 at the Old Capitol.

I’ve named these guys…..Larry, Moe, and Curly.

[Hub4Learning @Hub4Learning]

This is why and how engine oil turns into black sludge

[Math Files @Math_files]

One professor of mathematics noticed that his kitchen sink at his home broke down.

He called a plumber.

The plumber came on the next day, sealed a few screws and everything was working as before.

The professor was delighted. However, when the plumber gave him the bill a minute later, he was shocked.

"This is one third of my monthly salary!" he yelled.

Well, all the same he paid it and then the plumber said to him:

"I understand your position as a professor. Why don't you come to our company and apply for a plumber position? You will earn three times as much as a professor. But remember, when you apply, tell them that you completed only seven elementary classes. They don't like educated people."

So it happened. The professor got a plumber job and his life significantly improved. He just had to seal a screw or two occasionally, and his salary went up significantly.

One day, the board of the plumbing company decided that every plumber has to go to evening classes to complete the eight grade.

So, our professor had to go there too. It just happened that the first class was math.

The evening teacher, to check students' knowledge, asked for a formula for the area of the circle.

The person asked was the professor. He jumped to the board, and then he realized that he had forgotten the formula.

He started to reason it, he filled the white board with integrals, differentials and other advanced formulas to conclude the result he forgot.

As a result he got "minus pi r squared".

He didn't like the minus, so he started all over again. He got the minus again. No matter how many times he tried, he always got a minus.

He was frustrated. He looked a bit scared at the class and saw all the plumbers whisper:

"Switch the limits of the integral!"

[Mark Mazzanti @MlMaz56]

@AdamSpencer4 @SECfootball Ole Miss - Dylan DeLucia & Eli Manning

[Mark Mazzanti @MlMaz56]

@StopShiteShow @614clinton bat - $1.05 ($1 more)
ball- $0.05

[The Babylon Bee @TheBabylonBee]

Senate Asks Pelosi If She Can Send Over Copy Of Impeachment Articles Without Wine Stains All Over It https://t.co/BXMmDSdVqP

[Texas Humor @TexasHumor]

I’ve never created a more accurate meme.

[Michael Knowles @michaeljknowles]

Name something you can say during the Battle of Hastings and also during sex.

[Mark Mazzanti @MlMaz56]

@dukecoachdj @OleMissFB @PatrickWillis52 @NFFNetwork Saw it... good for PWillie

[Lafayette Schools @LafCo_District]

It’s a hot day in Mississippi today. Felicia Pollard, assistant principal at LUES, has a very important PSA for us today.

[Mark Mazzanti @MlMaz56]

Pretty much spot on...

[Heritage Action @Heritage_Action]

"This piece should be required reading for the GOP headed into 2020." — @EWErickson
https://t.co/ryatcu7rRL

[Mark Mazzanti @MlMaz56]

Wow...

[The Babylon Bee @TheBabylonBee]

Millions Of ROUSes Begin Migration From Fire Swamp To Scenic Baltimore
https://t.co/0OGIihGKH6

[Mark Mazzanti @MlMaz56]

While in DC this week, exactly what Elizabeth said to us...

[BWH @BWH85]

everybody talks about this person all the time now and it's still just hilarious to me

[Scott Lincicome @scottlincicome]

I'm not crying you're crying

[Comfortably Smug @ComfortablySmug]

"I know. I know. I thought I had it, too."

[Mark Mazzanti @MlMaz56]

Truly amazing to see the cherry blossoms along with thousands of our closest friends

[Mark Mazzanti @MlMaz56]

@PYNance @guypbenson Couldn’t agree more. My wife says in almost all cases, and I defer to her in almost all cases, the term ‘bless her/his heart’, means... ‘they don’t have a clue, but they don’t know they don’t have a clue’. It can be cruel, but it’s always said so sweetly and nicely...