Tired Mummy

Motherhood it takes patience, humour and a lot of wine 🍷

[Anglo-Saxon @AngloSaxon85]

Really hope those whoppers protesting at the Grand National get trampled all over

[Danni @danni_ox_]

Them protestors at Grand National in their pink t shirts

[anna @_annaxb]

Those protesters are absolute dumb fucks, all for animal rights yet they’d be happy to run onto the course potentially while the race was going and potentially injure the horses they claim to love? Doing far more harm than good #GrandNational2023 #GrandNational

[Tired Mummy @MummioLife]

Starting the day covered in projectile vomit 🤢 milk vom is the worst 😷 #beingamummyisfun

[Tired Mummy @MummioLife]

2 weeks my child has been going to a child minder and after the first week he brought home a cold the second week a sickness bug. 🙄🙄🙄

[Tired Mummy @MummioLife]

Motherhood: I’m not convinced I’m cut out for the repetitiveness of it all. How many times really can you read the same book or stack the same blocks #helpmenow

[Heff-Ra @Heff_Ra]

Me: I can explain it *to* you but I can't understand it *for* you.

Barista: why do you keep coming here?...

[Tired Mummy @MummioLife]

The kids nap mummy drinks 😂😂 wine o’clock is upon us

[Ⓜ️isterD @MisterD78UK]

[first date]

Her: I don't eat anything green.

Bruce Banner: *sighs*

[The Dad Briefs @SladeWentworth]

Establish dominance by replying to your kid’s “Knock knock” joke with “Door’s open.”

[Hoss @grHoss]

Drunk level : please restore factory settings.

[Tired Mummy @MummioLife]

My child screaming at me for 10 minutes because I won’t let him put his fingers in a plug socket 🙄🙄🙄

[Tired Mummy @MummioLife]

On a scale of 1 to 10 how likely is it that I’m going to order a takeaway instead of cooking the food from my fridge #tiredmum

[𝑨 𝑳𝒊𝒕𝒕𝒍𝒆 𝑳𝒐𝒔𝒕 @LittleLost_One]

If I say "First of All"

Run away, because I have prepared research, data, charts and will destroy you.

[Be Kind Of Witty @bekindofwitty]

My favorite bedtime routine is the one where my kids fall asleep before we have to do the bedtime routine.

[Tired Mummy @MummioLife]

I’m probably not supposed to say this but being a parent is sooooooooo boring #zzzzzzzzz

[Tired Mummy @MummioLife]

@CrockettForReal @dadmann_walking 😂😂

[Tired Mummy @MummioLife]

When you have a child there’s no such thing as a sick day #thingsiwishidknown

[Tired Mummy @MummioLife]

Me as a parent