Betty Knapp

Go for someone who is not only proud to have you, but will also take every risk just to be with you.

[Betty Knapp @StarostenkoK]

My Mom + My Dad - Condom = Greatest Person Ever ;)...

[Betty Knapp @StarostenkoK]

"You've changed" Ummmm actually I think the proper term is "I've stopped trying to please you."

[Betty Knapp @StarostenkoK]

The knack of flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.

[Betty Knapp @StarostenkoK]

"Would you like a bag?" "No thanks, I thought I would carry these 14 items on my head..."

[Michele Hobbs @GorgoniySuper]

Climate is what you expect: weather is what you get.

[Betty Knapp @StarostenkoK]

I'm here on Twitter because my family is on Facebook.

[Betty Knapp @StarostenkoK]

Me + Mathematics = Syntax error.

[Patricia Bruton @leboshkinak]

2011: I'm sexy and I know it. 1836: I'm physically attractive and I'm aware of this statement.

[Betty Knapp @StarostenkoK]

"I love Eminem!" "I like Skittles better" "No, the rapper you idiot" "You're the idiot, what's so good about a M&M wrapper?"

[Linda Workman @95Shevtsov]

"There are three types of lies -- lies, damn lies, and statistics." - Benjamin Disraeli

[Ashley Boulanger @pukhovkin]

Please do not steal, the IRS hates competition.

[Betty Knapp @StarostenkoK]

Being lied to hurts, especially when you know it's a lie and especially from someone you love.

[Betty Knapp @StarostenkoK]

Internet connection has failed : Now don't rape the Refresh button.

[Laura Hopps @lagodnov]

That awesome moment when you're telling a lie and your best friend notices and joins you.

[May Vanburen @rikyvpanve]

I love it when I randomly find money in my clothes. Its like a gift to me, from me.

[Helen Shumaker @GSlabkovich84]

I'm so good at sleeping, I can even do it with my eyes closed.

[Margie Ward @endalova1978]

Voldermort: "So all I have to do is lie?" Pinocchio: "Yup."

[Betty Knapp @StarostenkoK]

I still think Barack Obama stole "Yes We Can" from Bob the Builder..

[Betty Knapp @StarostenkoK]

Vegetarians, if you love animals so much, why do you eat all of their food?

[Melissa Gulbranson @tapolkin87]

To Do List: 1) Buy a turtle 2) Name it 'The speed of light' 3) Be able to honestly say I can run faster than the speed of light.