The Anon Church™

Uniting the very best of Church Anons and Parodies

[The Anon Church™ @TheAnonChurch]

The best thing on Twitter this month? Union Theological Seminary jokes!

[Pensive🌷Tulip @5pointNat]

When we confess to plants...

[The Anon Church™ @TheAnonChurch]

@faithrootsActBC @UnionTheology US.

[The Anon Church™ @TheAnonChurch]

The best thing on Twitter this month? Union Theological Seminary jokes!

[𝕏💎𝕏 Dr. Parson Peeves™ 𝕏💎𝕏 @ParsonPeeves]

It is often hard to tell the wheat from the tares, but the dieffenbachia is quite evident.

[Church Curmudgeon @ChrchCurmudgeon]

Plant, I come, I confess
Without you, my life’s a mess
My whole salad falls apart
I need your artichoke heart

[Church Curmudgeon @ChrchCurmudgeon]

We Baptists are committed to lots of church plants, but nothing like this. @NAMB_SBC

[Philip Nation @philipnation]

Two Things:
1. I confess that I need more Coffee Bean Plants in the world.
2. This is why we can't have nice things. 🤦🏼‍♂️

[Fake J.D. Greear @FakeJDGreear]

Bloomin' idiots.

[Old Church Grump @OldChurchGrump]

Does fungus count? Because I have this one toenail that would make this really convenient.

[C. S. Live Laugh Love Lewis @HEvangelical]

Is this a live-action Veggie Tales remake?

[Drew McIntyre @DrewBMcIntyre]

I ate some corn on the cob earlier tonight and I confess...

...it was delicious.

[Noam Blum @neontaster]

I made out with a cactus once while I was still dating a hydrangea.

[Old Church Grump @OldChurchGrump]

Sincere question, would it make any difference if the plant was fake?

[Bad Church Secertary @ChruchSecretary]

I talked to the plants while watering them, but it's just gossip.

I guess that's close enough, it's just confessing for other people.