Grampa Fish Ape

Avi by @TheToddWilliams Banner by @doktormod

[Grampa Fish Ape @TheDeadfishSays]

Me: For who the bell tolls...
Teacher: You forgot the 'M'.
Me:Oh...
Me:
Me: For who them bells toll...

[Grampa Fish Ape @TheDeadfishSays]

@owen_mohler @magus_vera @AriDrennen Deven Thompkins is 5’8” 155 and plays for the Buccaneers. There’s been both shorter and lighter NFL players than your example; which in itself is an arbitrary number.

We had a girl on our high school football team in ‘98. Dudes were scared of her.

[Grampa Fish Ape @TheDeadfishSays]

@hottakejr @thdivewhisperer @mmmgolly @itsJeffTiedrich It means that they hope to one day own a car and afford a coffee.

[Grampa Fish Ape @TheDeadfishSays]

Damn, I miss your wit.

[Bon Ivavra @john_vavra]

WOMAN: pls help, theres a man outside terrorizing me

911: haha aww that just means he likes you

MURDERER (at window): HEY SHUT UP I DO NOT

[Steve vs. Ninjas @stevevsninjas]

Alex Trebek: This sitcom starred Robin Williams and Pam Dawber...

Swedish Chef from The Muppets: *pounding on his buzzer with both fists*

[Grampa Fish Ape @TheDeadfishSays]

@JoeyCuloper My cat got up on two legs and watched me play it. She was super interested in it.

[Grampa Fish Ape @TheDeadfishSays]

@JoeyCuloper Happy birthday, yo!!!

[wildman culoper ฅ^•ﻌ•^ฅ @JoeyCuloper]

I feel really bad for the mf at the Jelly Belly factory who had to eat “old dog cum” and “grandpa’s skidmarked underwear” and other nasty shit like that so they could know how to make all those fucked up beanboozled flavors

[Grampa Fish Ape @TheDeadfishSays]

@JoeyCuloper Have you considered that you are both hot and dreamy? 🤔

[Grampa Fish Ape @TheDeadfishSays]

@JoeyCuloper I too require a crumb catcher groomin’

[shen the bird @Shen_the_Bird]

The transformers holding back tears as they load a hearse into a slightly larger hearse

[Rads @_radsy]

[being chased by killer]

ME: *frantically pressing crosswalk button*

[kim @KimmyMonte]

my glass coffin company “remains to be seen” is not doing as well as i thought it would.

[Grampa Fish Ape @TheDeadfishSays]

Do you remember when you joined Twitter?

No…no I do not.

[Grampa Fish Ape @TheDeadfishSays]

@sara_carrion_ Ummm…I guess I’d introduce my wife to my ex-girlfriend.

[Nick Brooks @whoisnickbrooks]

Sold my first YA novel!!!!!!! Now i need followers to share the news with lol

[Grampa Fish Ape @TheDeadfishSays]

I’m super stoked for this!

[Dice Will Roll @DiceWillRoll]

48 HOURS REMAIN! 🌵
Safe Haven: A Weird West Tale is a Western themed Adventure Module for Pathfinder 2e + D&D 5e. New subclasses, new race options and more await you in the world of Wistoria, where magic is dying and the Age of the Gunslinger is upon us! https://t.co/IjVeW2VBxd

[Grampa Fish Ape @TheDeadfishSays]

@KaylaChowShow

[Grampa Fish Ape @TheDeadfishSays]

@HekseTehSekse I got you, man.

“I’m heating up the coils.”

[Grampa Fish Ape @TheDeadfishSays]

@Momma_Solo 100% fact!