Yeetus XIII

Jack | gamer | cat/plant dad | idiot who has a BA in Mathematics.

[Yeetus XIII @Yeetus_II]

@Eagles That’s your own quarterback btw

[Mark @AgingRanchHand]

I would 100% get killed by an arrow if I had to storm a castle. Like there wouldn't even be a point for me to carry a weapon I'd be dead 500 feet away from the wall. I could just wear flip flops and a bathing suit there'd be no difference

[@ratlimit @ratlimit]

Hello, I drive a Nissan Altima and I have staked my entire sense of self on “winning” this intersection

[delulu @welchmeyer]

guys i don’t care if USPS lost your package once or whatever. if we lose USPS it will impact so. many. people. negatively.

it’s the ONLY program we have required to deliver to EVERY address.

[Yeetus XIII @Yeetus_II]

@SplashPlateVGC Start pouring the grease down the drain

[NOBUNAGA🇯🇵🏯_夏樹蒼依 @japan_nobunaga]

I mentioned that my garage door was making a sound.

An American immediately said, "I got a guy."

He did not ask what the sound was. He did not ask what kind of door. He produced a guy on the basis of the word garage.

I asked who the guy was.

He said, "Just a guy."

He did not have a company name. He had a first name and a phone number in his phone saved as "Mike Garage."

That is the contact name. Mike Garage. As though Garage is his surname. As though there is a family.

I asked how he found this guy.

"My brother-in-law used him."

I asked if the brother-in-law was satisfied.

He thought about it. Then he said, "He's still standing."

The house is still standing. That is the entire review.

Inside I said: THEY DO NOT KEEP RECORDS. THEY KEEP LOYALTIES.

I called Mike Garage. He answered from inside a vehicle. There was wind. He said he could come Tuesday between eleven and four.

Between eleven and four. A window of five hours. In my country this would be a scandal. Here it is generous. He gave me a window at all. Some guys do not give you a window. Some guys say "Tuesday" and that is the whole appointment.

He came at 1:40.

He fixed it in twenty minutes. He charged me less than I expected and he did not take a card, only cash or an app I had never heard of.

Before leaving he looked at my water heater, which I had not mentioned, and said, "That's gonna go."

I asked when.

"Couple years."

I asked what I should do.

He said, "I'll give you a guy."

He gave me a guy. Mike Garage has a guy. The guy has a guy. There is a network beneath this country made entirely of men named after their function, and none of them advertise, and all of them are busy.

Inside I said: THERE IS A SECOND NATION HERE. IT HAS NO SIGNS. IT IS ENTERED ONLY BY INTRODUCTION.

I have been given four guys since.

I have a guy for trees.

I did not know I needed a guy for trees.

I have trees now, apparently. They are my responsibility. A man named Rick told me so and then left.

[Libertarian Mama 🔔 @LibertarianMama]

Putting in Lindsey Graham’s sister is about as stupid as when they tried to put in John McCain’s wife. It’s not a political dynasty, it’s representation for the people.

[Power to the People ☭🕊 @ProudSocialist]

Breaking: Lindsey Graham is dead at 71 after a brief and sudden illness.

He spent the final years of his life advocating for war, genocide, and dropping a nuclear bomb on the Palestinian people.

Good riddance. The world is a better and safer place without this lunatic in it.

[Yeetus XIII @Yeetus_II]

England and Argentina cheating their way to the semi finals

[Hater Report @HaterReport]

VAR can tell when the ball touches a single strand of hair but apparently can’t tell when it hits the sky cam 😭💀

[Warren Sharp @SharpFootball]

how does VAR not tell the ref the ball hit the sky cam before the goal???

goal should have been disallowed

what a joke

[Otis P. Stinktrigger @HurtKull]

went to the bar with my friends and was verbally assaulted outside by an angry woman on psychedelic mushrooms. my friends were all talking about how out of line she was but the thing that disturbed me the most was how quickly she picked up on the fact i am pure Evil

[Lance Corporate @lance_corporate]

Dental hygienist (28F): I’m sorry to be the one to tell you this but based on my observations you are mere hours from death

Dentist (44M): looks good man

[jeffy @retrojeff3]

fuck data centers. all my homies hate data centers

[National Homelessness Law Center @homeless_law]

BREAKING: The Louisiana Senate passed a disturbing anti-homeless bill that pushes homeless people into jails, forced treatment, and unpaid labor. Hours earlier, the same lawmakers voted to give themselves $1,000 to cover housing expenses, recognizing housing is too expensive.

[AIPAC Tracker @TrackAIPAC]

Rep. Thomas Massie has been unseated by AIPAC’s Ed Gallrein in what is now the most expensive House primary in U.S. history. #KY04

[Police The Police 2.0 @PoliceThePolic1]

🚨 A former sheriff's deputy will not face any criminal consequences after he was caught on camera hitting two children with his car, court records show.

[حيدر | Haydar @chronicalihere]

That time he blew up a packed Doctors Without Borders hospital in Kunduz, Afghanistan, killing 42 people and wounding dozens of other civilians. Or how about one of the other 600 drone strikes he conducted?

He not only droned hospitals, but weddings and even the funerals for those killed in the weddings. He normalized the use of *double-tap* strikes where they would target civilians in one strike and then immediately strike the first responders who came to aid them— which has been frequent in Israeli and American warfare since.

The cognitive dissonance is scary.
Stop celebrating this man. He's a war criminal. You rightfully criticize Trump; but Obama built so much of the capabilities and apparatuses that Trump abuses today to commit his own crimes and atrocities. From caging children to stripping civil liberties.

[NewsWire @NewsWire_US]

South Carolina Republicans Privately Circulating Congressional Map That Would Eliminate State’s Only Democratic Seat