zea

sometimes i like to crack jokes. sometimes i offer political commentary. depends on the day

[zea @_zeamiller_]

In an alternate universe I was one of the Impractical Jokers

[Behr🕷️🕸️ @peterbehrker]

Speak ill on the small C again and see what happens.

[Libriscent @libriscent]

You guys ever think about how there's random people out there who have a story about the weirdest person they've ever encountered and it's you

[erinspresso @riverindaIe]

legitimately the funniest fucking tweet about he-man ever

[cav empty @cavempty_]

i love how on youtube if you don’t hit skip ad when the button pops up it assumes you’re fine with watching ads forever and never getting to the video

[brian @brianonhere]

whoever designs online portals for local governments is making user interface decisions so bizarre and hostile they actually verge on avant-garde

[microplastics nanobubbler @facetedcarapace]

Horror movie from The Sims perspective wherein they don't understand what is happening to their house and do not realize their life is being controlled by a 12 year old girl on her family computer in Ohio

[Integrity Guy @Integrity_Freak]

No ma’am, I don’t have a boarding pass. I’m simply here to enjoy the world famous dining and nightlife at O’Hare International Airport

[jake @reyscarradine]

this is great but y’know what’d make it even better? if it starred ice cube and took place entirely on zoom

[Becky @beckyhizzle]

me stepping outside in this humidity

[Bart Winkler @BartWinklerShow]

This is our version of the Notre-Dame de Paris fire

[Ava @noampomsky]

very struck by this tiktok where a divorce attorney said the best heterosexual relationship dynamic is “evil witch devoted henchman”

[𐌁𐌉Ᏽ 𐌕𐌉𐌌𐌉 @OrevaZSN]

Being part of a generation that was told “Wikipedia is not a source” makes it genuinely baffling to me that jobs are now telling people to just use ChatGPT for everything.

[Brendan Fraser Crane @bf_crane]

At a brewery watching the game and when Trump came on screen the whole place booed and a child shouted “get ‘em outta heeere” like a Dickensian moppet

[blue @bluewmist]

I'm finally reading Dune. This quote, which is in the first few pages, hits hard:

"Once men turned their thinking over to machines in the hope that this would set them free. But that only permitted other men with machines to enslave them."

[Walter @culturecanceler]

Why don’t the bears make a 6 billion dollar kalshi bet against where they’re not going and use the winnings to finance the stadium

[Dale Chu @Dale_Chu]

“The students who cannot read a 20-page article today are the voters who will not be able to read a bill, or the jurors who cannot follow a closing argument, tomorrow.”

[۟ @fendimogul]

the main character suffering their whole life just to die at the end of the story gotta be my least favorite thing in fiction ever. i don’t care how realistic it is

[g🐰 @boopbopgera]

i lowkey get irritated when my friends make dumb decisions like no i don’t think you texting your ex is cute

[ag ✿ @tay_selari]

this was so pretty little liars

[Slazac 🇪🇺🇺🇦🇹🇼🌐 @TrueSlazac]

Not now babe, i’m reading Magnifica Humanitas