Furnace

[Furnace @aFarewellToFeet]

The Jim Morrison burger was to have debuted in July, 1972 at Jack In The Box. The product was cancelled after Ray Manzarek refused to approve the lyrics “Bacon through to the other side” for marketing purposes. Bacon through. Bacon through. BACON THROUGH TO THE OTHER SIDE!

[Washington State Dept. of Natural Resources @waDNR]

We're hiring influencers and by that I mean firefighters who influence the forest to no longer be on fire.

[J B I R D @Jbird_i]

I'm not hot, just bothered.

[Furnace @aFarewellToFeet]

@michikoconuts Give a coconut a fish and it will smell fishy for a day. But teach a coconut to fish and will ask for a new rod and reel each year on its birthday. Selfish bitch coconut.

[The B. @anerdonfire2]

The second date went downhill fast when I showed up with a scrapbook of our first date.

[Furnace @aFarewellToFeet]

@Sophie2078 Optimism?

[thomas 🍌 @perfectsweeties]

toddlers piss me off so bad the way they just fall over for no reason and get back up and act like nothing happened. are u not fuckin embarrassed right now

[Furnace @aFarewellToFeet]

I literally have no memory of ever meeting an ox in the flesh.

[Phrasemaker💩666 @phrasemaker666]

I'm protesting, but not all-you-can-burgle protesting.

[Phrasemaker💩666 @phrasemaker666]

Fingers of the feet of camels are so agreeable in Mexico, that I must feminize every wombat for acting like protest eaters.

[Furnace @aFarewellToFeet]

@Pork_Chop_Hair How Caligulaesque!

[That Pesky Prostitüt™ @LittleMissAngr1]

My neighbours are losing it. I just heard her tell him to stop drinking from the hose and he responded by growling at her, to which she replied with monkey noises and then went back inside.

[Furnace @aFarewellToFeet]

As I was walking around Costco today I realized: This is where Karens come from.

[Madame Lifewaster Jr. 😐💀 @elunatyk]

You know, I can admit it now, after the Boston bombing whenever I saw “Boston strong” I knew they were saying New York is weak, so I’d drive up, break a window, and shove an elderly person on the T. F-you Boston. Every city is strong.

[Furnace @aFarewellToFeet]

The revolution will not be downloadable... until you update to System 10.5.2

[𝙣𝙖𝙥𝙤𝙡𝙚𝙤𝙣 𝙫𝙚𝙜𝙚𝙢𝙞𝙩𝙚™ @NapVeg]

one time i got to eat a full slice of avocado before it went bad and i've been chasing that high ever since

[Furnace @aFarewellToFeet]

The Underground Railroad. But for statues.

[Julicorn @ChicksRule]

Dad: ok, who has been using my glue without permission?

Me: 👌🏼