Belf Grylls

Cultured, like yoghurt

[Belf Grylls @belf]

No interaction, just the occasional observation. I'm basically a giant neutrino.

[Belf Grylls @belf]

@TheDailyShow @jonstewart @jonstewart - I found out where Mitch McConnell disappeared to. He's been assisting Interpol...

[Belf Grylls @belf]

@thewritertype They could re-enact the Two Tribes video (one for the kids there). I assumed that was what the UFC arena was for.

[Belf Grylls @belf]

@muchado33 Great, now I'm traumatised, messed up AND my own problem - now I just need some lemon juice for this paper cut

[Belf Grylls @belf]

@DLuxSilverBeard You should try asking Rick Astley for his copy of the movie Up. He's never going to give you Up, but he doesn't want to let you down.

[Belf Grylls @belf]

@DLuxSilverBeard Aww, someone added a handle to make it easier to swing the kiddies ❤️

[Belf Grylls @belf]

@DLuxSilverBeard Weird place for a weather vane. Is that a cock on top of it?

[Matthew Todd 🌏🔥 @MrMatthewTodd]

Hardly any media talking about Trumps climate science denial - probably because lots of them secretly agree. They won’t soon.

[Broughton & Birnie @brobirn]

Good morning, I like this hole, it's a nice hole.

[Adam Sharp @AdamCSharp]

People with conflicting names...

Gary Numan vs Gary Oldman
Norman Lovett vs Norman Leavitt
Marvin Gaye vs George Strait
Amber Heard vs Mos Def
Ruby Wax vs Kate Bush
Busta Rhymes vs Jason Orange
Vanilla Ice vs John Thaw
Genghis Khan vs Immanuel Kant
Steve Swallow vs Mark Spitz

[Much Ado about Abby Normal🧠🤯 @muchado33]

I can not express how very ready I am for this election to be over. It's even more exhausting than I thought it was going to be. And what sucks is it's just going to lead to another fucking level of suck.

[Belf Grylls @belf]

Happy Hallowe'en

[Belf Grylls @belf]

@DLuxSilverBeard Best wishes for your combined total also 🙏

[Belf Grylls @belf]

At last, no longer alone.

When I claim to be 8 inches, it's the combined total.

[Belf Grylls @belf]

@RpsAgainstTrump These rabbits, are they with us now?

[GlennyRodge @GlennyRodge]

I call my wife 'her indoors' because she looks like Jim Morrison.

[Belf Grylls @belf]

@AdamRutherford I am shocked and appalled. Why would your spellchecker object to a perfectly good word like panglossian?

[Belf Grylls @belf]

@Okeating A pale homage to the original genius : )

[Belf Grylls @belf]

I've been putting off your cervix inspection, I know it's dilatory.

[Belf Grylls @belf]

Just a little dampness, it will soon wear off