15 yo slept at his friends house.
Text me at 6:30 A.M. FYI’ing me that they were walking (2 miles) to Walmart ☠️
He got home a few hours later, played Minecraft for a few hours and I haven’t heard from or seen him since 😆
There’s never been anything attractive about the suburbs for me because I don’t have an obsession with mowing the lawn and I’m not afraid of people and diversity. If I want to escape, I’ll go rent a place in the French countryside for a month or two.
I don’t understand how I bust ass all day at home and I barely keep up but never get ahead. Or I don’t bust ass all day at home and I’m barely behind and don’t get ahead. Like why am I busting ass if the difference is barely behind or barely keeping up?
This doesn’t mean it’s easy learning skills as an adult that we ideally would have learned as children.
Or that everyone should or wants to.
If we are happy where we are then that is the right way.
But it’s a choice to remain stuck and it’s a choice to give away our power.
The thing about relationship skills is that they are exactly that. Skills.
Skills require intentional effort, practice, feedback and commitment to learn.
Some of us are sent into the world with a head start on those skills, and some of us are sent into the world with harmful relationship skills. Most are somewhere in between.
If the relationship skills we learn as children in our home of origin are not serving us as adults, we have the choice to learn new relationships *skills*
There comes a time in adulthood, likely earlier than many believe, where you become responsible for your own choice to build or rebuild skills you learned as a child. At that time, the consequences of our choice to do that, or not, stops being the responsibility of our home of origin and becomes our own responsibility.
If you don’t like the skills you learned as a child, learn new ones.
If you choose to stay in a marriage you are unhappy in, you have a responsibility as an adult to take ownership of that choice and accept that it is not your partners fault that you are choosing to be unhappy and choosing not to change that.
Regardless of the your partners faults and contributions your partner has made to the relationship.
Don’t resentfully stay in a marriage you don’t want to be in.
Choose to be happy and accept who your partner is and who you are and the ways that you work together.
Or leave because you cannot or do not want to accept that.