Mr Wright Now, Maybe

I'm a one man tweet ruining machine.

[Mr Wright Now, Maybe @dannyboy7813]

Me: What's that movie with Michael Keaton where he played a weird demon?

Friend: Beetlejuice

Me: It will come to me in a min

F: It's Beetlejuice

M: I can see his face, this is bugging me.

F: IT'S BEETLEJUICE

*Michael Keaton appears

MK: I'm Batman

[Mr Wright Now, Maybe @dannyboy7813]

@mickgeorgeltd @CambridgeUtdFC Done

[Mr Wright Now, Maybe @dannyboy7813]

RT @mickgeorgeltd: 📢Quick Giveaway!!

@CambridgeUtdFC fans, we have 4 x hospitality tickets for tomorrow's game available.

To enter:

✅L…

[Mr Wright Now, Maybe @dannyboy7813]

@allama04 @president_band Got London on the bands presale on Wednesday

[sixfootcandy @sixfootcandy]

My husband gets a little too excited watching me wash a cucumber.

[Ghostface Kryllah @kryzazzy]

Raise your hand if you were ever having a decent day but then you had to explain what the “California Raisins” were to a young person and every thing just went to shit from there

[BrewBoard @BrewBoard]

🚨GIVEAWAY KLAXON🚨 To celebrate the launch of the brand new Parker's Piece Reality Checkpoint-inspired Third Shirt today, we're giving one away! Just give us a follow & retweet this post and you'll be in with a chance. Winner announced on Monday...🤞
#BrewBoard | @CambridgeUtdFC

[BrewBoard @BrewBoard]

🚨GIVEAWAY KLAXON🚨 To celebrate the launch of the new shirt today, we're giving one away! Just give us a follow and retweet this post and you'll be in with a chance. Winner announced on Monday...🤞

#BrewBoard | @CambridgeUtdFC | #CamUTD | #giveaway

[Uncle Duke @UncleDuke1969]

♫ Oh, Danny boy
♫ The pipes, the pipes are calling

[SpacedMom @copymama]

Since wearing PJs to school is status quo now, are they gonna replace Pajama Day with “Dress Like a Functioning Member of Society Day?”

[Ghostface Kryllah @kryzazzy]

He told me his love language was words of affirmation so I recited the McDonald’s breakfast menu to him

[Jude D @heyitsJudeD]

Young man down the pub looked me up and down and then winked at me!
At least I think he did? Might have been an involuntary twitch? It was an involuntary twitch wasn't it? 😂

[Katie D @KatieDeal99]

I didn’t realize how much of my adult life would be spent getting excited over sleep things. Got to take a nap? Excited. Got more than 5 hours? Excited. Only woke up once to pee? Excited.

[Henpecked Hal @HenpeckedHal]

me: there are hundreds of geese in our yard!

wife: yeah right

me: take a gander for yourself if you don’t believe me

[Jude D @heyitsJudeD]

I'm really happy being single!

Unfortunately my husband doesn't agree.

[SpecialKimtamine™ 🏴‍☠️🇺🇸🇮🇹🚩 @LorazeKim]

They say that sex before marriage is a sin. Simple solution. Do it doggy. Everyone knows that all dogs go to heaven

[Mr Wright Now, Maybe @dannyboy7813]

I think I may visit the local food truck too often. It’s just appeared on Apple Maps as an important place