Robert Simmons

Used to be jokes and wisps of cultural commentary, now mostly panicked retweets about the world ending.

[Robert Simmons @doleitout]

@schlockvalue Whoa! That’s huge, congrats!

[Robert Simmons @doleitout]

Jesus fucking Christ man

[Robert Simmons @doleitout]

@Mikel_Jollett @GregProops 100% agree and he should drop out.

[Trygve Olson @trygveolson]

This is the most important (and shamelessly irresponsible, dangerous, and anti-American interests) statement made by a leading candidate for President in the history of our nation. Media that covers it any other way is in fact playing into Trumps narrative that it is all fake media.

[Robert Simmons @doleitout]

@RonDeSantis Hey! Go fuck yourself!

[Robert Simmons @doleitout]

@emilynussbaum Arnold 🤢

[Robert Simmons @doleitout]

@mehdirhasan We really don’t talk about this enough. I don’t even believe in god but I could be convinced there is at least a devil for him to have made a deal with.

[Andrew Lawrence @ndrew_lawrence]

welcome to the free state of florida, now if you could just drop your pants for a government mandated genital inspection you can be on your way

[Jake Cole @ThatJakePC]

Accountant pointing to graph: it turns out that charging ppl to see a movie instead of just throwing it onto a service they already pay for generates revenue
8-figure/year studio exec, pushing glass of water off of desk like a cat: incredible

[david ehrlich @davidehrlich]

this Little Mermaid shit is worse than that time we were all forced to download a U2 album

[Robert Simmons @doleitout]

“Alright I’m leaving the house for the day. Time to start working on this list of people to have shout-volume conversations with while holding my phone two feet from my face.” - like 70% of people

[Robert Simmons @doleitout]

@Iocustreign Tough one but I gotta go with IHM

[Robert Simmons @doleitout]

@filmspotting Mind-blowing that sam is a distant third. By far the best and most interesting list

[Robert Simmons @doleitout]

@opinonhaver Very hard to put anything in front of healthcare. A national embarrassment with no sign of getting anything but worse.

[30 Rock @30Rock]

This sounds familiar 👀

[Robert Simmons @doleitout]

These turkeys have mutated to giant proportions, have hands, and apparently now give live birth. We need to destroy them.

[PETA @peta]

POV: The dinner tables turned & a family is gathering around your dead body to share why they’re thankful.

[Robert Simmons @doleitout]

@davidmfaris I’m a Floridian who moved back from Chicago and I’ve been saying this all along. The demographic in Tampa has shifted drastically over the past 2 years to transplants crowding the streets with giant trucks and demanding not to be tread on.

[@scottjshapiro.bsky.social @scottjshapiro]

Elon Musk is the best advertisement for getting a degree in the Humanities

[follow @bencollins on bluesky @oneunderscore__]

Before the next election, you might want to find a better way to poll anyone under the age of 30 since they would rather pick up a pinless grenade than a call from an unknown number.