Gabriel Egolf

Christ-follower. Husband. Father. Gamer. Programmer.

[The White House @WhiteHouse]

Today, we remember a legend.

On this day in history, Harambe would have celebrated another birthday. An icon that became part of internet history, American culture, and an entire generation’s timeline.

Tomorrow marks 10 years since we lost him. Ten years since the moment the world stopped scrolling and collectively mourned something bigger than a meme.

He became a symbol of loyalty, strength, chaos, unity, and the strange beauty of the internet bringing millions of people together for one cause: never forgetting Harambe.

Everyone remembers where they were when they heard the news. And somehow, a decade later, his legacy still lives on.

Gone, but never forgotten.
Rest easy to a true patriot. 🕊️🇺🇸

May 27, 1999 — May 28, 2016
Forever in our hearts.

[Daniel C. Green | The Eagle Eye @TheEagleyeNews]

I think we need to build this.

I designed this below image, representing Lewis and Clark on the Mississippi in the style of Argonath.

At $1 Billion or more, I think it can be done.

[Everything Price Sufferer (but especially eggs) @agraybee]

I didn't know Helen of Troy could generate so much conflict.

[Thinkwert @Thinkwert]

Two households, both alike in dignity,
In fair Verona, where we lay our scene,
From ancient grudge break to new mutiny,
Where civil blood makes civil hands unclean.

[Karli Bonne’ 🇺🇸 @KarluskaP]

OMGAWD- going to the Met Gala as a contractor 🤣

[Nick Freitas @NickJFreitas]

Well done sir.
Spotify should be calling soon.

[Tim Tebow @TimTebow]

Heaven ushered in a hero of the faith last night as my Dad was welcomed home!

Many will say sorry for your loss but the truth is he’s not lost, we know exactly where he is.

He’s home.
Forever!

I asked him last week what he looked forward to most about Heaven, and he simply said, “Jesus.”

He couldn’t wait to see Jesus face to face.
Praise God that his wait is over.
Death has been swallowed up in victory.
He’s healed and whole now.

So we don’t mourn as those with no hope.
See you soon Dad!

[Gabriel Egolf @gegolf]

Witty idiots idiot-ing wittily

[Possum Reviews @ReviewsPossum]

Dude who wanted to take the Ring for himself to save his kingdom but decided the mission to destroy it was more important because it would save the world, and died for that cause.

King who initially refused to aid another kingdom because they didn't help when they needed it, but ultimately decided fighting evil and saving their civilization was more important than his petty grudge, and died for that cause.

Guy who lived a life of cruelty and greed who got corrupted by a quasi-demonic force that turned him into a monster and made him suffer in loneliness for hundreds of years until given the chance to redeem himself and genuinely tried but ultimately failed by giving into temptation and betraying the only person who could bring him salvation.

"No moral complexity."

[Aelfred The Great @aelfred_D]

Me: Oh god, it looks like this gov email might have been marked CUI, I’ll need to report a spillage even though I didn’t originate it. Thank god it’s not actually a classification level issue.

Government: YOLO

[Gabriel Egolf @gegolf]

@az_morlock @exjon Boomerang toomerang soomerang...

[Barry Malone @malonebarry]

This Banksy, which appeared overnight on the side of the Royal Courts of Justice building in London, is extremely powerful.

[Scott Manley @DJSnM]

It’s been two years since Oceangate’s Titan submersible imploded at the bottom of the Atlantic, smashing Stockton Rush to a fine paste.

I imagine by now ocean currents have spread his atoms far and wide.

Does this mean seawater is a homeopathic cure for hubris?

[alexandriabrown @alexthechick]

🧵 In the Era of the Golden Scalp Weasel came the Great Unmasking.

What do I mean by this? Well, get yourself a snack and beverage of choice and I shall explain.

All set?

Let's get it.

[Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes]

I just paid my taxes.

The roads should be fixed any day now.

[Robert Sterling @RobertMSterling]

I don’t want to connect my coffee machine to the wifi network. I don’t want to share the file with OneDrive. I don’t want to download an app to check my car’s fluid levels. I don’t want to scan a QR code to view the restaurant menu. I don’t want to let Google know my location before showing me the search results. I don’t want to include a Teams link on the calendar invite. I don’t want to pay 50 different monthly subscription fees for all my software. I don’t want to upgrade to TurboTax platinum plus audit protection. I don’t want to install the Webex plugin to join the meeting. I don’t want to share my car’s braking data with the actuaries at State Farm. I don’t want to text with your AI chatbot. I don’t want to download the Instagram app to look at your picture. I don’t want to type in my email address to view the content on your company’s website. I don’t want text messages with promo codes. I don’t want to leave your company a five-star Google review in exchange for the chance to win a $20 Starbucks gift card. I don’t want to join your exclusive community in the metaverse. I don’t want AI to help me write my comments on LinkedIn. I don’t even want to be on LinkedIn in the first place.

I just want to pay for a product one time (and only one time), know that it’s going to work flawlessly, press 0 to speak to an operator if I need help, and otherwise be left alone and treated with some small measure of human dignity, if that’s not too much to ask anymore.

[Larry Correia @monsterhunter45]

OMG BY LOOKING AT THE OPM FILES ELON HAS OUR SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBERS!!!
Oh come on. If Elon really wanted my SS# he could have just bought it off the Chinese from the last time OPM leaked all our data.

[Autism Capital 🧩 @AutismCapital]

Get in loser, we're normalizing bringing your kids around.

[MoronPundit @MoronPundit]

I've been assaulted.