Toffee Apple Chew

Jus' horsin'. More handsome than a Jaguar, more groovy than a Rolls Royce. Aiming for a Best Effort prize.

[Toffee Apple Chew @horsey2theduch]

Absolutely outraged that @Alicelevine had the audacity to refer to me as "pieces of pony". I'm a goddamn STALLION. #toffeeapplechew #mdwap

[Toffee Apple Chew @horsey2theduch]

🐎 🐎 🍬 🍎 🍏

[Des Martin Support Group @HelpDesMartin]

I’m on a mission to find the beat #BelindaBlinked character (I couldn’t fit them all in 😂😂)
Have your say in a series of polls...

[Toffee Apple Chew @horsey2theduch]

@dadwrotea @Hypertrophygir1 @dadwroteaporno @FlintstoneRocky I’m a thoroughbred, what can I say

[my dad wrote a porno, out of context @dadwroteapornoc]

We love sharing our favorite @dadwroteaporno quotes (out of context) but if you’re not following the man himself @FlintstoneRocky you’re no better than a regular ‘ol Des Martin. Get on over and follow the legend.

[Garrett Watts @Garrett_Watts]

Even if you don’t believe in them, please consider for a moment that u might be haunted by a polite ghost.

NOT an obvious scary one who slams doors at night!

Just a selfless sweet one who quietly moves little hazardous items off the floor when ur not looking so u don’t trip

💕

[my dad wrote a porno, out of context @dadwroteapornoc]

He reversed out of Belinda’s tunnel of devotion. 🚇 - @FlintstoneRocky #mydadwroteaporno

[Amos Schonfield @AJSchonfield]

You know your Secret Santa gets you when you get a @dadwroteaporno themed card.

(L-R: Des Martin, Gisele, Tony, the youngish man, me, Belinda, the Duchess, a pan, Bella)

[Toffee Apple Chew @horsey2theduch]

For those indulging in a spot of retail therapy this fine Saturday: the riding thong really isn’t necessary #forstersofknightsbridge #BelindaBlinked #thinkofthehorses

[Horse & Hound @horseandhound]

£650 fine for man who left donkeys to suffer https://t.co/pHXv4f883X

[Toffee Apple Chew @horsey2theduch]

@dadwrotea @ThumperComet @NazzityNaz @dadwroteaporno @FlintstoneRocky I love Walkers crisps, and isn’t that the same thing?

[Toffee Apple Chew @horsey2theduch]

@dadwrotea @ThumperComet @NazzityNaz @dadwroteaporno @FlintstoneRocky Des darling, once I’m back on my hooves, I’m all yours

[Natalie @heronstyles92]

Toffee Apple Chew #nowords #pornoday @dadwroteaporno

[Toffee Apple Chew @horsey2theduch]

If you’re feeling down after the last #pornoday, why not treat yourself to a Beefeater and a naughty movie on a big screen? #bemorebella

[Toffee Apple Chew @horsey2theduch]

I’ve looked worse 💅

[The Youngish Man(ager) @theyoungishman]

I’ve just walked past Steele’s and think there’s a secret meeting of C.O.C.K. taking place #PornoDay #mdwap @dadwroteaporno

[Horse & Hound @horseandhound]

7 things you need to know about the newly crowned Cartier Horse of the Year https://t.co/rDr5Dsozo1

[Toffee Apple Chew @horsey2theduch]

Finally getting the limelight I truly deserve #pornoday

https://t.co/ur2hTfFV99

[Bagelsandsoup @bagelsandsoup]

Spinoff series written about toffee apple chew? @FlintstoneRocky @dadwroteaporno #pornoday

[Toffee Apple Chew @horsey2theduch]

In my defence, I never asked to be part of this charade 🏇

[Jaquita Falana @jaquitafalana]

In the Duchess' defense, my grandfather used to ride his horse to town. In the 1950s and 60s. In a small town in Texas, not a major metropolitan area. And not to clandestine meetings.

Actually, nevermind. @dadwroteaporno #pornoday

[Toffee Apple Chew @horsey2theduch]

Can neither confirm, nor deny. 🏇

[Daisy Smith @dspalimpsest]

Theory: accomplice is Toffee Apple Chew, AKA Sir James and Clarence in a pantomime horse costume #PornoDay

[Jo Goldsmith-Eteson @JoGoldsmithE]

#pornoday @dadwroteaporno #toffeeapplechew