kape

oops I did it again

[UnDo 512 @undo512]

me telling my work crush who’s name i don’t know that i’m quitting my job: it’s ok i’m just going to a sad girl farm upstate

[cardinal copium @emotionalpedant]

Not sure of source but oh my god?????

[kape @itsmekourt]

The person driving in front of me probably thinks I’ve been screaming nonstop for miles but I just can’t get this yawn out

[Because I'm a Guy @CauseWereGuys]

"Why didn't you text me back?"

[🤌🏾🇵🇸🇨🇩🇭🇹🇸🇩 @ComplexBlackBoi]

WOW. What kind of warfare!!!??

[Brooke Harries @brookekrista]

whenever i hear someone say “my therapist said” my ears perk way up. that’s free therapy

[DRACO ☆ @_ayosworldd]

*wakes up with a pimple*

my skin: https://t.co/LufzZ0D7DH

[kape @itsmekourt]

My four year old swatting away a bee, frantic "don't make honey on me!!!!"

[kape @itsmekourt]

I’m showing off my cool new shirt

[kape @itsmekourt]

Why am I still getting rick rolled twice a week in 2018

[kape @itsmekourt]

@dlicj

[dire wolf @ADDiane]

Cop: do you know why I pulled you over?
Me: yeah I do but sad news buddy, I'm married

[dick snickers @smithsara79]

Me, to myself: Okay, just be cool, don't say anything weird

Any woman: *says something that makes me laugh*

Me, out loud: THAT'S HILARIOUS WE SHOULD BE SISTER WIVES BUT WITHOUT THE HUSBAND

[tubi ad break @hellohappy_time]

I’m not going to stand here and be insulted Please let me lie down

[Funky cold McDLC @davidleecourt]

Find a girl who can keep your house plants alive.

[Serg @bonehugsnirony]

Me: I want to meet someone
[I meet someone]
Me: I want to meet someone different
[I meet someone different]
Me: You know what? I‘m better off alone lmao

[Rob @Jeebus_Cristo]

With Mother’s Day fast approaching, it’s important to remember that my mom can beat up your mom

[Jon @ArfMeasures]

Me: And I was just trapped in my bed, crying for hours

Cop: I'm not surprised with a murderer in your house

Me: There was a murderer in my house?