Kenny Gold

Black by popular demand… Part time filmmaker, full time lover ❤️

[Kenny Gold @KennyBGold]

Every room is a panic room when you feel something crawling on you

[Kenny Gold @KennyBGold]

@DermotTodayFM & @DaveTodayFM for new Late Late show hosts 🫶🏼❤️

[☆ ‧dreamboy·˟͙‧̩̥l @LilNasX]

yep and i might fuck yours

[☆ ‧dreamboy·˟͙‧̩̥l @LilNasX]

i spent my entire teenage years hating myself because of the shit y’all preached would happen to me because i was gay. so i hope u are mad, stay mad, feel the same anger you teach us to have towards ourselves.

[Molly Struve 🦄 @molly_struve]

The EU now has 1 GB of free space

[Seán Hussey @SeanHussey00]

@dionfanning Political Masterclass from Shane Ross.

[becca 🦆 @circIess]

"how do you afford to go to so many concerts?"

bold of you to assume I can afford to go

[Uncle Duke @UncleDuke1969]

me: they’re just-
wife: don’t say it
me: ...
wife: I mean it
me: ...
wife: ...
me: lion there

[Elon Musk @elonmusk]

@GameOfThrones Don’t make me use my space lasers …

[gary from teen mom @garyfromteenmom]

interviewer: any questions
me: do u think ratatouille is hot

[frank diesel @frankkdiesel]

There’s no cool way to pretend you didn’t just try a medium-sized cup lid on a large cup.

[Dwight K. Schrute, Dunder Mifflin (Parody) @DwightSchrute_]

If you don’t Then you
love me don’t deserve
at my me at my

[Its Rachel B*tch @raychick427]

Thinking about becoming a smoker so I get more breaks at work

[Ryan Reynolds @VancityReynolds]

Nothing better than the simple joys of finding 5 bucks in an old pair of pants, or discovering my wife and I had a second daughter over a year ago.

[Mike Drucker @MikeDrucker]

Got my brother a full-sized inflatable T-Rex costume and he asked, “What am I going to do with this?” And it’s like, dress as a fucking T-Rex and stomp around. The lack of fucking vision in this family.

[Kenny Gold @KennyBGold]

*See's stray dog on the street*
*pushes tear back into eye* wait till you're home dammit

[Kenny Gold @KennyBGold]

Every room is a panic room when you feel something crawling on you

[Bison @FunnyBison]

*Salem 1692*
Witch: I’m not a witch!
Judge: Look, if we're being honest, you're on trial for being a woman. Don't make this weird

[The Notorious B.E.V. 🌈 @blade_funner]

[answering the office phone] Please hold *very quietly* me.