Kathleen Haugland

Relationships are about give and give, not give and take. You'll know you're with the right person when they give as much as you.

[Kathleen Haugland @khodnenko98]

Saying to your friend, "there's your best friend" when you see someone they hate

[Kathleen Haugland @khodnenko98]

"I'd like a $5 dollar footlong"....."That'll be 7.05"....."Bitch what??

[Kelsey Chapman @AveriyzF]

Regular naps prevent old age..... especially if you take them while driving.

[Mary Spence @IlimashBasok]

Best feeling ever: Waking up and seeing you still have a couple hours to sleep.

[Cindy Underwood @88Pamfil]

*Browsing Facebook* *See's bitchy status* 78 COMMENTS! *Gets popcorn* This is gonna be good.

[Kathleen Haugland @khodnenko98]

"You actually have friends...?" "Yeah bro, all 10 seasons on DVD!"

[Helen Davis @povetin]

I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbour said 'Are you going to help?' I said 'No, six should be enough.'

[Kathleen Haugland @khodnenko98]

First Tab: Twitter ... Second Tab: Facebook ... Third Tab: YouTube.

[Glenda Vinson @spodrezenko]

That son of a bitch moment when you're walking around the house with socks on and you step on a random wet spot.

[Angela Tran @BossTigriy]

Just saw two homeless men hitting each other with pieces of cardboard. Pillow fight!

[Grace Lareau @90Marilov]

I totally understand why Paper and Scissors don't get along. But Rock? That dude's just an asshole looking for a fight.

[Christi Oliver @X1Gazukin2016]

Looking down my timeline and thinking "Stfu." "You're ugly." "This bitch can't spell." "Who cares?" "Stop lying, when did i follow you?."

[Kathleen Haugland @khodnenko98]

I'm a leader not a follower. Unless it's a dark place. Then you're going first.

[Kathleen Haugland @khodnenko98]

Can you find the mitsake? 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10. Retweet if you did

[Judith Snow @khotyantsev]

On the other hand... You have different fingers.

[Kathleen Haugland @khodnenko98]

"I wasn't that drunk..." "Dude, you picked up a little mexican girl and screamed, "DORA! I NEED YOUR MAP TO GET HOME"

[Michaela Kear @soydova]

You don't know something? Google it. You don't know someone? Facebook it. You don't find something? MOM!

[Tina Wilson @toptykovskaya]

My biggest fear is to look out my window at night and see someone staring back at me

[Kathleen Haugland @khodnenko98]

I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.

[Kathleen Haugland @khodnenko98]

Karma is like 69. You get, what you give.