Kelly Patch

Sometimes I love you, sometimes I hate you, but there isn't a day that goes by that I don't miss you .

[Kelly Patch @kulakovskiyv]

Think of a number. Double it. Add six. Half it. Take away the number you started with. Your answer is three. Isn't it mind blowing?

[Kelly Patch @kulakovskiyv]

Happy moments, praise God. Difficult moments, seek God. Painful moments, trust God. Every moment, thank God.

[Kelly Patch @kulakovskiyv]

Marriage is a three-ring circus: Engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.

[Christine Williams @93Saveliy]

Patient: How much longer do I have? Doctor: Ten. Patient: Ten What? Doctor: Nine...

[Kelly Patch @kulakovskiyv]

I wonder why guys mistreat and disrespect women. But then expect life to hand them a good woman when they're ready to settle down?!

[Jessica Frazier @itubashov]

I like birthdays, but I think too many can kill you.

[Cheryl Collins @apujaDorr]

"You've changed" Ummmm actually I think the proper term is "I've stopped trying to please you."

[Kelly Patch @kulakovskiyv]

That awkward moment when someone asks you what's wrong and they're the problem.

[Kelly Patch @kulakovskiyv]

Loyal women deserve the best!

[Carrie Parker @88Yuriya]

Teacher: How can we keep our school clean? Student: By staying at home.

[Terri Reichard @bredikhinpolik1]

I work awfully hard trying to disguise the fact that I'm a lazy bastard.

[Kelly Patch @kulakovskiyv]

Im as single as a dollar and Im not looking for change.

[Kelly Patch @kulakovskiyv]

I won't be impressed with technology until I can download food.

[Kelly Patch @kulakovskiyv]

RETWEET and see what happens!

[Lonnie Hammond @ManizhaZamesova]

It's useless to hold a person to anything he says while he's in love, drunk, or running for office.

[Heather Nelson @2016Smolyanov]

Waiting on oomf to text back 1min 2mins 3mins 4mins 5mins 6mins 7mins 8mins 9mins 10mins this hoe mu

[Kelly Patch @kulakovskiyv]

"Twerk" = A Dance In Which Ratchet Hoes Think Is Cute.

[Tammy Smart @gkrakasevich]

Does February March? No, but April May.

[Kathleen Walls @ZaulskayaG4]

I instantly smile when I see a text from you, I don't care what's in it. It's amazing to know I crossed your mind even just for a second.

[Kelly Patch @kulakovskiyv]

Never fight battles God has already won for you.