Delusional Padres Fan

EARTH #1 PLANET ALL-TIME | 25 | 🪶

[Jackson @tree_bro]

*knocks on door* Mrs Smith? I'm from Army. Your son got owned in Iraq. He showed great valor in the face of epic fail. Semper fi or whatecer

[Dr. Abdul El-Sayed @AbdulElSayed]

Today, rather than focus on the price of gas, the price of groceries, ending the war, or stopping the trade war, Congress spent its time declaring this.

“Dear colleges that receive American taxpayer money: We will take away that American taxpayer money if you decide to keep it from going to Israel.”

Aside from being blatantly unconstitutional, it’s wild. Why is it wrong to want our taxpayer money spent here to provide for schools here instead of being sent somewhere else?

[South Centraleño @IkeMoses]

you ain’t got no Chicano homies if nobody told you everything from California to Texas is Aztlán

[💥 Nurse D, RN/1L @TakeThatNurses]

It always fascinates me that when you have an IV, you can taste the saline flush. That implies that you can taste your own blood at all times

[fred @fredday95]

This was scandalized and parodied to an insane degree back then it's so crazy in retrospect If you learn even a fraction of what really happened during Katrina he was 100% right which is something you can't really say about any version of Kanye

[Mike Beauvais @MikeBeauvais]

Lewis and Clark in 1805:

[Delusional Padres Fan @minobii]

crazy how there’s not a single unique experience in the world

[chopped sashimi @chuncmoder]

there was a years long period in my late teens where i walked around alone almost every night dissociating for hours while listening to bon iver and drinking black coffee and i legit assumed that level of depression was normal

[Delusional Padres Fan @minobii]

idk sometimes it’s a little more complicated than that dude

[Esk Er, peddler of non-sequiturs @er_esk]

@soggybrocoli since you realize that the men YOU allow in YOUR social circle are doing something bad and weird, it's YOUR responsibility to stop hanging out with them. you "wouldn't seek them out" bro they're welcome in your yard. you permit their behavior. stop them or stop pretending.

[coochie mane 🧪 @lsdcuredme]

i’m sorry but this has me crying like can you imagine your friend cold calling you to say this

[TexasRaptor @ MP @Texas_Raptor]

Jacked off into a menthol dude wipe and my ropes started crackling like a fish fry

[Foul Territory @FoulTerritoryTV]

An unfortunate verbal slip up from the White Sox announcer Tuesday night. 😬

[︎︎xavi @timeslain]

There's someone on stantwt who keeps posting gifs of chiikawa with cockroaches. Please stop

[rune sword @runesword1]

clerics just wiped ghoultown off the map. it’s just fucking gone

[Shelfy @RealShelfy]

Gengar will never need knee surgery or beat his wife

[brian @brianonhere]

never really thought of hasan piker as a real threat but it looks like he’s just been upgraded to hasan halberdier. my light cavalry could be in real trouble

[milk @wet_foal]

First of all I didn’t mean it second of all I typically get away with this kind of thing

[jár @jarodzsz]

okay so i just remembered we're all born naked and the rest is drag. everyone have fun

[Ryan Maue @RyanWeather]

You're looking live at El Niño going "full-tilt" to start meteorological fall. Once in a lifetime event.

Three monster hurricanes in E. Pacific w/Hawaii splitting the uprights.

Moisture from Hurricane Marie is going to inundate U.S. desert Southwest with major monsoon!

[I don't know what to put as a user name @ali_baba_gyatti]

@factpostnews Living in America right now.

[tess @kimyerisms]

Hello America! This week, [spins wheel] TOFU is contaminated with [spins wheel] INK!