Scrub Life

Have four sexually transmitted dependents, get paid to stab kids, and married to a crazy Colombian.

[Scrub Life @nurseWHAT_]

Does a sexy strut in front of the hubby,
*trips over the kid's toy

[Scrub Life @nurseWHAT_]

@Kbrizz1 Ground hogs day.

[Tony @tsm560]

I feel like I carry the burden of embarrassment for most of you.

[Scrub Life @nurseWHAT_]

#WaysToUpsetYourSpouse
Saying you got a headache.

[Lady M ❤ @LadyM_07]

Most of my fantasies involve someone bringing me coffee in bed.

[Scrub Life @nurseWHAT_]

@8goingon80 @EtobicokeErnie Well then I must be one sexy ass bitch!🍔

[Scrub Life @nurseWHAT_]

@tylarvibes

[Kristi @oh_em_fn_gee]

Follows diet
Diet doesn't follow back
Unfollows diet

[Scrub Life @nurseWHAT_]

My fitness level in one sentence.

Nearly passed out trying to paint my toenails while singing.

[Son of Dad @ThugRaccoons]

Her: So what’s your biggest kink?

Me: Probably my elbow.

[Stacey @skittle624]

I write mean tweets, keep them in my draft folder, and look at them every now and then and smile.

[Scrub Life @nurseWHAT_]

My creeper.
#Caturday

[Scrub Life @nurseWHAT_]

@Andrew3569 @TJS2016NY That was never a thought. 😂

[Scrub Life @nurseWHAT_]

I make my boys do ridiculous requests from me just so they will know what it’s like to be married someday.

[The Notorious B.E.V. 🌈 @blade_funner]

I'm avoiding the scale like it's an unvaccinated toddler.

[Chad Read @squirrel74wkgn]

[laying in bed]

Wife: I’d rather chew on aluminum foil while listening to Nickelback

Me: ...a simple, “I have a headache” would’ve been fine

[Scrub Life @nurseWHAT_]

@TJS2016NY Yes!!!!

[Scrub Life @nurseWHAT_]

Son just started his first job at a grocery store.
Think I’ll go grocery shopping so I can make a complaint to the manager.

[Scrub Life @nurseWHAT_]

@TJS2016NY 😂 girl my husband still does the same.

[Scrub Life @nurseWHAT_]

Husband opens his mouth to talk:
Me: Don’t care.