Pril

Crazed mom of many survives daily life by the the skin of her teeth, while creating fab u lots things.

[Pril @pril_wisdom]

Just saw an ad for Ghost Pepper White Castle Sliders....

For when you want diarrhea that burns??

#wtf #WhoThoughtThisWasSmart #ouch

[Molly Ligon @mollyligonn]

#IFindItShocking that in Ancient Greece, Zeus's stripper name was "Greece Lightning"

[BadParentingMoments @BPMbadassmama]

Pretty sure my kid started describing this iPad game to me about 10 minutes after the earth cooled and he hasn't... https://t.co/nHpeWXQd6A

[Abby Heugel @AbbyHasIssues]

The most unrealistic thing about paper towel commercials is how people can rip off one sheet perfectly at the perforation.

[Hand Solo™ @RdrJay47]

You spend each day trying to eat as much as possible without getting fatter, then you die.

[Elena @ElenaChainHelp1]

I don't remember my mom saying "Fuck" this much when she baked.

[DΞLLΔ LUX̲ @DellaLux]

Make yourself useful by offering your body to the witches.

[Sooz @CruisinSoozan]

70 has decided that the new neighbor is a who-are.

I made him say it like 6 times before I said,
"Oh you mean WHORE!"

[Sorta.Maleficent @xosm]

All views expressed here aren't even mine also someone else said it better before I thought it.

[foggy memory @someonesmomma]

I call bullshit. On all of it.

[Walter White @HeisenbergLab]

My lawn sprinkler systems is hooked up to a tank of pepper spray...I meant it when I said to stay off my lawn #HowImDangerous

[princess butter mup @vickykhappy]

I have a mountain of laundry in my laundry room.

Didn't know what to do with it so I climbed it, planted a flag and claimed it for Spain.

[SingleBabyMama @_SingleBabyMama]

I fell in an icy parking lot walking to my car. No broken bones but I'm incredibly sore. I'm on the fast track to a Life Alert necklace.

[Andrew Nadeau @TheAndrewNadeau]

{God Inventing Marshmallows}
I like clouds a lot. Make ones that give you diabetes.

[Stap the Mattness @Stap_Jr]

If 2017 brings George Carlin back to life, all is forgiven.

[Bubbles n' Booze @BubblesnBooze]

I'm white but not "pays $20 for a candle" white.

[Sooz @CruisinSoozan]

My WiFi keeps crashing.
Like, all the time.
I think the router might be a Decepticon.
If it says "Transform and rise up!" I may shit myself.