Sahvana Stapleton

Mom // Real Estate Agent //

[Sahvana Stapleton @sahvy87]

Is there a Guinness world record for how many times a person has seen Cars 3?

If not, I’m sure my kids are setting it.

If so, they should have it beat by this afternoon.

#kachow #momlife

[b. @bwebster76]

they should've named all baseball teams a different color of socks

[Sahvana Stapleton @sahvy87]

@TheCEShop is your website down?

[Melvin of York @MelvinofYork]

I'm the kind of tired where I just threw my socks in the trash can instead of the hamper and then figured screw it I've got more

[Lady Lawya @Parkerlawyer]

I recorded my husband snoring and then played it back to hear it and he rolled over and said, “TURN THAT DOWN I’M TRYING TO SLEEP!”

[Lord James Alvarez @ObscureGent]

Son: Dad, is this a Halloween parade?

Me: No, there’s just a sale at Hot Topic. These are called GOTHS.

[Twin Dad @TwinSurvivalist]

[Three year old washing hands]

0:01 - Filthy hands, water turned on
0:13 - Soap applied to hands
0:29 - Water finally touches hands
1:36 - 13th application of soap
2:10 - Water coats all bathroom surfaces
3:55 - Shirt soaked
7:31 - Water turned off, hands somehow dirtier

[dadpression @Dadpression]

Just read a book where a cartoon dinosaur knocks down other kids' block towers. My four year old says he needs to go to jail.

[Dad Sa1d What? @dadsa1dwhat]

Area child late to school because “sock won’t work”

[Mommy Owl @Mommy__Owl]

My kid’s mouth keeps doing that thing where she opens it and a million random questions fall out.

[Lord James Alvarez @ObscureGent]

You can only haunt a house if you owned it. People who rent or lease go straight to limbo where they learn how to invest their money more carefully.

[Megan Rikas @MegsHAUSTED]

My kid dropped a grape on the floor, and there’s a solid chance it’ll be a raisin before I find that sucker.

[SpacedMom @copymama]

8am: *Cracks egg into bowl*
1pm: *Finally fishes out tiny piece of shell that accidentally fell in*

[bananafanafofisa @lisaxy424]

My astronaut boyfriend and I broke up because he said he needed some space.

Thanks for following.

[Darlin’ Darla @Darlainky]

Cake flavored vodka, the reason I can no longer eat cake or drink vodka.

[Lindsay @Rollinintheseat]

“Olive Garden: When you’re here, you’re family.”

*My grandma tells the waitress she looks tired*

[rachelle mandik 🕳 @rachelle_mandik]

i ask my toddler what's in the box she's holding. "chaos!" she replies. "chaos! chaos!" i know she's trying to say "crayons," but it's not like she's wrong.

[Dad and Buried @DadandBuried]

Saying please to a toddler is like being polite to a tornado.

[Elena @ElenaChainHelp1]

Where’s my academy award for finally getting to the bottom of the laundry basket?