Your Mom

Teen mom n Toddler mom n Lady of truth... not always in that order.

[RLou72 🇨🇦 @keepitrealmom]

Teens know everything. Except how to load a dishwasher without gagging. That takes some special skills.

[ΚατPeach @unravelingfire]

I don't care for your tone, suggested serving size.

[Steve Keating @LeadToday]

Never be so busy making a living that you forget to make a life.

[Chris @FlipFlopCenUL]

💜💜💜💜💜

[Jessie Reed @makeitworkmama]

So not impressed by your 26.2 bumper sticker...unless it stands for how many seconds it takes you to devour a pizza.

[Your Mom @straightupmomma]

My Queen-dom for crispy, salty Wendy's fries & a chilled, chocolate frosty.

[Your Mom @straightupmomma]

4: I just wanna curl up here in my spiderman sleepin bag & sleep until alllll the way until morning time.

Me: Me too Little Man. Me too.

[Josh @iwearaonesie]

[watching a movie]
wife: What did he say? *rewinds too far* *fast forwards too far* *rewinds too far* *fast forwards too far* *rewinds too f

[🎭ᑌᖇᔕᑌᒪᗩ🎭 @3sunzzz]

If you stay in my personal space too long, I will fake sneeze all over you.

[Jackman...Forever @TheAlexP]

I just texted someone all in emoji and a teenage girl appeared out of nowhere and kicked me square in the nuts.

[🇨🇦𖤐 Father Red McGee 𖤐 🇨🇦 @FatherRedMcgee]

Am I the only one who's concerned by the distinct lack of safety rails in the Star Wars universe?

[Sam Kalidi @samkalidi]

It's Friday! Happy weekend!

[DevilryFun @DevilryFun]

You can only blame your mom so much and then you have to own your dominant bitch gene.

[Your Mom @straightupmomma]

Damn.
https://t.co/hFmpidpqrY

[jan @JJSummertime]

Now I lay me down to rest.
I pray your TC loves you best.
If he does choose another,
I sincerely hope it's not your mother.

[Your Mom @straightupmomma]

There's just something about cold wine and hot Mac and cheese.

[Your Mom @straightupmomma]

The 4, aka Mr. Chatty Pants, fake slept for 5 mins today in the car. You parents with Kidlets that actually sleep on long trips. I. Get. U.

[M @marcincognito]

Nothing like 1am corn flakes.

[Kent Graham @KentWGraham]

I did a half of a half of a half of a half of a half marathon today.