Anna Hutchings

Never ever call a girl fat. Not even as a joke. You don't know how much that hurts even when she just smiles. It's a fake one.

[Anna Hutchings @tauzikha]

A computer science student cleaned his hands with a soap after removing a virus from his computer.

[Vicki Dennie @86Flisa]

When somebody says "10 years ago" I think about the 90's instead of 2002.

[Anna Hutchings @tauzikha]

Ever been in a situation where you know someone is lying to you, but you sit there waiting to see how far they'll take it?

[Priscilla Holman @bakhishevavita1]

That amazing moment when you find money in your clothes that you forgot was there.

[Anna Hutchings @tauzikha]

Sometimes you gotta accept the fact that certain things will NEVER go back to how they use to be.

[Carol Fair @eelpidifor]

A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

[Mildred Ashworth @5eRushana]

Today I broke my personal record of consecutive days alive!

[Anna Hutchings @tauzikha]

Oh, I didn't tell you? Must've been none of your damn business.

[Margie Farrar @MrZyurnyaeva]

Ignore me ? Okay that's cool, just don't be mad when I ignore you.. Bitch

[Anna Hutchings @tauzikha]

My wife said to me, "I want you to whisper dirty things into my ear." So I whispered, "kitchen, bathroom, living room..."

[Anna Hutchings @tauzikha]

Bitch please, your vagina has more users than Facebook.

[Anna Hutchings @tauzikha]

I turned my phone onto "Airplane mode" and threw it up into the air. Worst transformer ever.

[Anna Hutchings @tauzikha]

When I talk to babies and pets I do it like an idiot.

[Tobie Vrooman @DkumekhovG]

Every Morning: Me: "I really can't stay." Bed: "But baby, it's cold outside."

[Anna Hutchings @tauzikha]

Vegetarians, if you love animals so much, why do you eat all of their food?

[Crystal English @knyazhukn]

Car sickness is that feeling you get every month when the payment is due.

[Anna Hutchings @tauzikha]

3 reasons why I cuss: 1) Because I fucking want to. 2) Because I fucking can. 3) Because I don't give a fuck.

[Teresa Orcutt @88Ardanova]

Rembrandt painted 700 pictures in his life time and Americans have all 7000 of them.