Amy

I am the Master of my fate, I am the Captain of my soul.

[Amy @thelovepumpkin]

@megabusuk when is the 8.00pm M7 bus from London Victoria to Cardiff due to arrive in the station/leave? Was due to be at 20.20pm...

[Amy @thelovepumpkin]

@CharlKateDavies @nationalexpress these are our ticket details, one journey for 2 passengers.

[The DM Reporter @DMReporter]

This week’s Daily Mail Cancer List:
Mo) Bananas
Tu) Nuneaton
We) Cut-off denim
Th) Aspirin
Fr) Nostalgia for VHS
Sa) Sarcasm
Su) Yappy dogs

[Will Rodgers @xWILLRODGERSx]

Dear Starbucks Employees,

If you call my espresso an "eXpresso" then by law you CAN NOT correct me when I say "medium" instead of "grande"

[Amy @thelovepumpkin]

@grimmers the sass is real

[Andrew Malcolm @AHMalcolm]

For every retweet this gets, Pedigree will donate one bowl of dog food to dogs in need! 😊 #tweetforbowls http://t.co/z4rmc2HsGT

[- @MarkTremonti]

@PencilCraftsman @alterbridge Wow, that's awesome!

[Texts From Last Night @TFLN]

(302): It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.

[Amy @thelovepumpkin]

@Tesco your 'ripe and ready' avocados are neither ripe nor ready.

[Amy @thelovepumpkin]

Seals are half dog, half fish.

[Amy @thelovepumpkin]

How the fuck is it already February 😑

[Amy @thelovepumpkin]

HAHAHAHAH “@noahfromthepack: When you won't stop fucking with your substitute teacher https://t.co/2CI0AGQjNw”

[🇺🇸Frank Whítehouse 🇺🇸 @WheelTod]

I thought I knew pain...

But then I just swallowed an intact flake of raisin bran perpendicularly.

[Amy @thelovepumpkin]

People who like horses always look like horses. ALWAYS.

🐴

[Amy @thelovepumpkin]

Burrito

[Amy @thelovepumpkin]

🎼🎶 Leslie Knope and Tom Haverforrrrrddd 🎶🎶🎶 I'm so sad @parksandrecnbc is airing it's LAST EVER SEASON soon 😭 sadness ensues.

[PETA @peta]

#FiveWordsToRuinADate: "Let’s go to #SeaWorld today." 😣

RT if u know #SeaWorldSucks!

[Amy @thelovepumpkin]

I never really liked the thought of @SeaWorld, but after watching @blackfishmovie, I'm absolutely appalled. #fuckseaworld #seaworldsucks

[Amy @thelovepumpkin]

Finally got round to finishing The Office, and I can not stopped uncontrollably weeping. I'll miss you guys 💔 @rainnwilson @johnkrasinski

[Amy @thelovepumpkin]

That Bianca girl off @bbcapprentice just missed a glorious opportunity so say 'I'm a strong independant black woman.' And I'm disappointed.