𝗧𝘄𝗼𝗽 𝗧𝘄𝗶𝗽𝘀

Please listen to my awful music by following ‘The Rocket House’ on yer usual music platforms.

[𝗧𝘄𝗼𝗽 𝗧𝘄𝗶𝗽𝘀 @TwopTwips]

I’ve got a new and typically awful song out now

Not that it matters

Does anything really matter?

No

We’re all just pointless bags of meat full of tribal hatred towards one another

https://t.co/wJ8r6lR11d

[𝗧𝘄𝗼𝗽 𝗧𝘄𝗶𝗽𝘀 @TwopTwips]

@JHCPAL @northumbriana Was always honkers in Monkseaton

[𝗧𝘄𝗼𝗽 𝗧𝘄𝗶𝗽𝘀 @TwopTwips]

Very liberal approach to hard drugs, Nige, but not sure your supporters will be on board

[Nigel Farage MP @Nigel_Farage]

We need to rekindle our sense of civic pride.

https://t.co/xE73wHA63P

[𝗧𝘄𝗼𝗽 𝗧𝘄𝗶𝗽𝘀 @TwopTwips]

DOUBLE the battery life of an iPhone by putting the fucking thing down. (via @steve_stringer)

[Robert Wilkinson @robertwlk]

40 years ago today, l asked my childhood sweetheart, my best friend and the most gorgeous woman l know to marry me.

All three said no.

[𝗧𝘄𝗼𝗽 𝗧𝘄𝗶𝗽𝘀 @TwopTwips]

PRETEND you've not actually missed your train by crying and waving as it pulls away. (via @bobbobob)

[𝗧𝘄𝗼𝗽 𝗧𝘄𝗶𝗽𝘀 @TwopTwips]

PRETEND you're early for Antiques Roadshow by standing outside a big house with a Fabergé egg. (via @Swissss)

[Keri jones @Kerijonesradio]

BBC Somerset fail! Don't listen if the C word offends!

[𝗧𝘄𝗼𝗽 𝗧𝘄𝗶𝗽𝘀 @TwopTwips]

@rustyrockets @piersmorgan Jesus, and I don’t say this lightly, fucking Christ

[𝗧𝘄𝗼𝗽 𝗧𝘄𝗶𝗽𝘀 @TwopTwips]

@JordyP1993 @bigajm @currys Ah fuck it, if you’re that desperate for a coffee machine I’ll buy one for you and get it sent to you by the weekend. *T&Cs apply

*Terms and conditions. I am not going to buy you a fucking coffee machine

[𝗧𝘄𝗼𝗽 𝗧𝘄𝗶𝗽𝘀 @TwopTwips]

@LeeAndersonMP_ Well, you won’t be here, so that’s a start…

[𝗧𝘄𝗼𝗽 𝗧𝘄𝗶𝗽𝘀 @TwopTwips]

EXPERIENCE the thrill of Olympic curling by shouting at cleaners.
(via @nutts2020)

[𝗧𝘄𝗼𝗽 𝗧𝘄𝗶𝗽𝘀 @TwopTwips]

@Ben_Bradley_32 @politi_cal95 @ElectoralCommUK

[𝗧𝘄𝗼𝗽 𝗧𝘄𝗶𝗽𝘀 @TwopTwips]

@bennetthaselton @mmbronstein Yeah, sounds fucking hilarious…

[𝗧𝘄𝗼𝗽 𝗧𝘄𝗶𝗽𝘀 @TwopTwips]

TAP the post to see fuck all and then be really annoyed with yourself after tapping the fucking post and seeing fuck all, for fuck’s sake

[𝗧𝘄𝗼𝗽 𝗧𝘄𝗶𝗽𝘀 @TwopTwips]

@calvinrobinson

[𝗧𝘄𝗼𝗽 𝗧𝘄𝗶𝗽𝘀 @TwopTwips]

@dazbradley @HLTCO Undoubtedly!

[𝗧𝘄𝗼𝗽 𝗧𝘄𝗶𝗽𝘀 @TwopTwips]

Mountbatten-Windsor pictured today, driving to Dundee in bare feet

[Brent Terhune in Cincinnatti July 11 @BrentTerhune]

Can’t believe they released the Epstein files to cover up for the Melania movie.

[Nigel Farage MP @Nigel_Farage]

Congratulations to Prince Andrew for his comments at the reception he hosted in Davos. Supporting Britain!