Ty Halasz 🇺🇦

professional dilettante

[Mike @hammerito]

Unfortunately the song of the summer is, for the 28th year in a row, Smooth by Santana feat. Rob Thomas

[Casual Thursday @CasualThursday]

Wife: You didn’t buy another one of those $19 muffulettas again did you? You know we’re trying to save money
Me: (my face covered in gourmet olive spread, my breath kissed with grace notes of provolone and mortadella, the warm aura of fresh focaccia wafting from my very pores) no

[Brandy Jensen @BrandyLJensen]

incredibly off-putting and charmless guy: why is everyone so swayed by charisma?

[NOBUNAGA🇯🇵🏯_夏樹蒼依 @japan_nobunaga]

USA. A Mexican restaurant. We had not yet ordered anything, and the food was already arriving.

Chips. Salsa. Unrequested. Free.

I stopped the waiter. "We have not earned these."

"They just come with the table, man."

They come with the TABLE. In my land, hospitality is a debt. Every gift creates an obligation, weighed carefully, returned in the proper season with interest of feeling. Here, the gift arrives before you have even proven you can pay for dinner.

This is not an appetizer. This is a declaration: we trust you. Eat.

I ate with the gravity the moment deserved. And then — I must report this calmly — the basket emptied, and a new one appeared.

"Did we…?"

"Refill," the waiter said. "It's bottomless."

Bottomless. They have wells of salsa. The supply lines of this nation are beyond anything my ancestors imagined.

My friend warned me. "Don't fill up on chips, dude."

Too late. I had accepted three baskets. Honor demanded each one be finished — an unfinished gift is an insult. By the time my actual food arrived, I was a ruined man.

I was not hungry. I was not comfortable. I had been defeated by a courtesy.

Generosity that arrives before the request cannot be repaid. It can only be survived.

I know the rule now. I have made my peace with the basket. One basket. Two at the most.

Who am I deceiving. There is no number of baskets I would refuse. The trust of a nation is in that salsa, and I intend to honor all of it.

[Tim Miller @Timodc]

I love how the conspiracy pushed on here was that the DNC blocked the autopsy because of what it said about Gaza when in fact it doesn't mention that & they didn't put it out bc it seems to have been written by a 5th grader. Perfect encapsulation of the discourse around the DNC.

[rex volcano @RexVolcano]

Stanford students should be allowed to have fun. Cracking down on parties has only accelerated the process of these students starting companies that defraud the US Government and our taxpayers

[James Medlock @jdcmedlock]

It’s honestly crazy we just let the intellectual property rents of Apple and Eli Lilly identify as Irish.

[Max Dubler 🏳️‍🌈 @maxdubler]

The millennial craft movement vastly improved American gastronomy and I refuse to let zoomers with no cultural memory of the bland garbage we ate and drank 20 years ago meme me into thinking it is cringe.

[Ty Halasz 🇺🇦 @tyhalasz]

Broken clock etc.

[The Kyiv Independent @KyivIndependent]

⚡️Russia labels Stanford University 'undesirable' in escalating crackdown on Western schools.

Russia has designated 19 Western universities as "undesirable" organizations, putting those linked to the schools—including students—at risk of prison.
https://t.co/haM91G1kRi

[hot pink bitch named breakfast @ejenkins54]

seeing way too many people say they can’t figure out what land mass that is and i know geography isn’t many people’s strength but come on. y’all are dumb as hell

[Tyler Tomei @TomeiTyler]

Nothing been the same for Tiger since he saw Cal beat Stanford in 2009 Big Game. The first "car crash" happened about a week after this photo was taken.

[YIMBYLAND @YIMBYLAND]

Imagine pounding a 30-rack with the boys here.
The fact that I cant do this in America sickens me.
https://t.co/kpEMzhbOTh

[gianmarco @GianmarcoSoresi]

Every AI video is like someone made a collage out of magazine cutouts and wants me to be impressed with their ability to glue

[Stephen Lloyd @apparentlysteve]

Dak choking a month before getting a ring is very on brand

[Keeks 🦋 @DietCoke_Esq]

Theater kid to litigator pipeline

[tony hawk lexapro skater @yungic_]

walking into the craft beer bar that has a chalkboard menu and seeing “coors banquet” written super small at the very bottom

[derek guy @dieworkwear]

come on

[Rachel @tolstoybb]

University of California Patriot & Champion
vs
Stanfordite traitor & a16z associate aspirant with her deal toy

[Jarvis @jarvis_best]

Olympic skiers are like “I have 2% body fat. I train 23 hours a day. I have had 87 surgeries” and Olympic snowboarders are like “I have smoked this many drugs today” and they hold up their hand which is in a mitten.

[Eduardo García-Molina @eduardo_garcmol]

RIP Cronus/Saturn, you would've loved finding and eating the baby in a king cake.