George Bluth

Leader. Guru. Patriarch.

[George Bluth @uncagedwisdom]

@whatdidiexpect @votesitwell @joewithabee Well, since your spouse is whining at me and GOB's isn't... GOB, tell your brother you're sorry.

[George Bluth @uncagedwisdom]

@whatdidiexpect @votesitwell @joewithabee I don't know why you're all fighting or what the hell Maeby keeps tweeting but we are a FAMILY.

[George Bluth @uncagedwisdom]

@whatdidiexpect @votesitwell @joewithabee GOB, apologize to your brother. Michael, apologize to your brother. Sally, stop texting me.

[George Bluth @uncagedwisdom]

@joewithabee @NowImOverHere Yeah; I hope Barry didn't tell you it was, because he knows DAMN well that's not true.

[George Bluth @uncagedwisdom]

@joewithabee @votesitwell And you'll get an assistant when you earn one. Not buying yachts on the company dime would be a start.

[George Bluth @uncagedwisdom]

@joewithabee @votesitwell Her. Kitty definitely a her. I mean... I don't know what you're talking about.

[George Bluth @uncagedwisdom]

@joewithabee ...yeah, I would never have assumed that even if I hadn't had to read multiple "I need you inside me" tweets.

[George Bluth @uncagedwisdom]

@joewithabee Well, I can't speak for your mother, but it's not like I assumed you just held hands and cuddled with the man you gay-married.

[George Bluth @uncagedwisdom]

@joewithabee @votesitwell @ToastVodkaRocks And to think most kids just send their parents Christmas cards. #honored

[George Bluth @uncagedwisdom]

@joewithabee Well, since you're outsourcing it anyway, ask Tough Tony about framing the guy. That's what you're pa... oh, you're not paying.

[George Bluth @uncagedwisdom]

@joewithabee Wait, by [DOOGIE] you mean the actual [DOOGIE], the actor, right? This isn't a code name for Tony? Don't have Tony killed.

[George Bluth @uncagedwisdom]

@joewithabee Maybe if this [DOOGIE] guy left a note confessing everything...?

[George Bluth @uncagedwisdom]

@joewithabee That's parenthood for you.

Look, I'm not saying getting revenge on the real killer's a bad idea, just do it smarter than that.

[George Bluth @uncagedwisdom]

@joewithabee Oh, well, that sounds much less stupid.

...somebody needs to invent a sarcasm font.

[George Bluth @uncagedwisdom]

@joewithabee So... you're gonna make sure the police are watching him, maybe even arrest him... and then have him killed.

[George Bluth @uncagedwisdom]

@joewithabee Buster's in jail? Oh, yeah, so he is. How's killing the real bad guy going to get him out?

[George Bluth @uncagedwisdom]

@joewithabee ...what the [bleep] are you up to and could you at least throw a 'hypothetically' in when you POST THIS STUFF IN PUBLIC.

[George Bluth @uncagedwisdom]

@joewithabee Some women are treasures BECAUSE they're terrifying unpredictable forces of nature. Takes after her grandmother.

[George Bluth @uncagedwisdom]

@joewithabee @mynameisracacoo He did, huh. Text me his name and place of business.

[George Bluth @uncagedwisdom]

@joewithabee @mynameisracacoo If she's sick take her to the vet.