Katherine Sowell

Don't just wait for things to happen, nothing will happen if you don't make it happen.

[Katherine Sowell @zkorelko]

Ever looked at your bestfriend and thought "why aren't we comedians"?

[Stephanie Tracy @MegaZhin]

The rewards for ambition in most countries are High Taxes.

[Teresa Orcutt @88Ardanova]

Once you turn 21, you can finally legally do all the things you've been doing since you were 16.

[Sara Clancy @94Gorbashko]

I never make the same mistake twice. I make it 5 or 6 times, just to be sure.

[Stella Kindred @76Akakiy]

My wife said to me, "I want you to whisper dirty things into my ear." So I whispered, "kitchen, bathroom, living room..."

[Patsy Sykes @KalikanovMega]

I think that Facebook should change the status question from "What's on your mind?" to "What's your problem today?"

[Linh Daniels @mazurina2016]

I think i can become a doctor. I have the handwriting for it.

[Katherine Sowell @zkorelko]

CLEANING MY ROOM: 1% Cleaning. 30% Complaining. 69% Playing with stuffs I just found.

[Lonnie Hammond @ManizhaZamesova]

Trying to act natural around cops, even when you did nothing wrong.

[Katherine Sowell @zkorelko]

Not to be competitive, but I am an excellent sleeper.

[Katherine Sowell @zkorelko]

"Are you jealous?" - "Nope" - "Are you jealous?" - "I said NO!" - "Okay, give me a kiss?" - "Go ask your 'friend' for a kiss"

[Ashley Martin @trushchakov93]

That awkward moment when you're trying to explain how a song goes but you really don't want to sing it

[Joanne Trask @psafrygin]

Just held the door for an Asian guy. He said "Sank you", so I punched him in the face, I can't believe he brought up Pearl Harbor like that

[Katherine Sowell @zkorelko]

A gift card is a great way to say, "Go buy your own damn present!"

[Sylvia Kearney @pasykin]

Excuse me you have a little face on your make-up.

[Katherine Sowell @zkorelko]

I might not be everything you ever wanted, but I'm always going to be more than you deserve.

[Katherine Sowell @zkorelko]

I love everybody. Some I love to be around. Some I love to avoid. And some I'd love to punch them in the face.

[Katherine Sowell @zkorelko]

Brain : reminds you to do something important, refuse to tell you what it is!

[Katherine Sowell @zkorelko]

Me: "Dad, how does it feel having an awesome son?" Dad: "I don't know, ask your grandpa."

[Katherine Sowell @zkorelko]

Birthdays are good for you, the more you have the longer you live.