Kelsey Chapman

You can't make the same mistake twice, the second time, it's not a mistake, it's a choice.

[Pamela Ward @ShanginaBoss]

wish my summer vacation was as long as Phineas & Ferb's.

[Kelsey Chapman @07Masha007]

Facebook: What's on your mind? ..Twitter: What's happening? ... Myspace: Where did everybody go?

[Helen Thompson @MinishaMr]

If I had a British accent, I'd never shut up. ;)

[Patricia Bruton @leboshkinak]

2011: I'm sexy and I know it. 1836: I'm physically attractive and I'm aware of this statement.

[Hilda Goncalves @88_zugrya]

If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?

[Hilda Goncalves @88_zugrya]

If a person is born deaf,what language do they think in?

[Michaela Kear @soydova]

On the highest throne in the world, we still sit only on our own bottom.

[Kelsey Chapman @07Masha007]

There's a special place in Hell reserved for people who use hashtags on Facebook.

[Kelsey Chapman @07Masha007]

I would go through many things for you. Let's start with your bank account.

[Kelsey Chapman @07Masha007]

Rule 1 for arguments: If you're losing, start correcting their grammar.

[Agnes Starkey @SelivanEleskin]

'Are you as bored as I am?' Makes sense even when you read it backwards...

[Kelsey Chapman @07Masha007]

90% of the ocean remains unexplored and youre telling me mermaids dont exist?

[Suzanne Olson @87Galfera]

When people go underwater in movies, I like to hold my breath and see if I would survive in that situation. I died in Finding Nemo.

[Colleen White @BGbabalych]

Voldermort: "So all I have to do is lie?" Pinocchio: "Yup."

[Kelsey Chapman @07Masha007]

Saying "never mind" when you don't feel like repeating yourself.

[Neva Mudd @91Nyrkovskiy73]

Texting someone while your half asleep then reading your text in the morning and realizing you made no sense....

[Kelsey Chapman @07Masha007]

i only check my voicemail to get rid of that annoying little icon.

[Kelsey Chapman @07Masha007]

Everyone: If you keep listening to your music so loudly you'll be deaf by the time you're 20. Me: What?

[Kelsey Chapman @07Masha007]

My wife left me because of my obsession with Linkin Park. But in the end, it doesn't even matter.

[Ella Johnson @lagutkoz]

Your ex asking to be friends after a break up is like kidnappers asking you to "keep in touch" after letting you go.