Michelle Goodrich

Sometimes you need to be alone to reflect on life. Take time out to take care of yourself. You deserve it.

[Eloise North @53Bezdelina79]

I'm not lazy, Im energy efficient.

[Michelle Goodrich @78Anosova]

"If writers wrote as carelessly as some people talk, then sfjieowfiojsfj{fsjfkja}[fsaf]f.fsfas." - Lemony Snicket

[Michelle Goodrich @78Anosova]

Reasons why I stop replying: 1. I'm busy 2. you're boring 3. I'm mad 4. you replied with one word 5. I'm on twitter 6. I'm eating

[Ruby Lemon @U5Eduard]

I got pulled over for drunk driving... but honestly, in my defence, I didn't even know I was driving.

[Michelle Goodrich @78Anosova]

Yawning: Your body's way of saying "10% battery remaining."

[Anne Robinson @76Protas]

Good things WON'T come to those that wait! They have to take the things that are left by those who got there first!

[Michelle Goodrich @78Anosova]

I believe that if everyone had cookies and milk and a nap at 3 o'clock everyday, the world would be a better place.

[Stella Kindred @76Akakiy]

You should always be yourself. Unless you discover you're an asshole, son.

[Alene Gibson @iberliz1]

"Dad, was there colored TV when you were a kid?"

[Michelle Goodrich @78Anosova]

9 months before I was born, I went to a party with my dad.... But left with my mom.

[Michelle Goodrich @78Anosova]

That annoying moment when someone enters your room and leaves the door wide open when they leave.

[Michelle Goodrich @78Anosova]

"You are what you eat." Thats funny, I don't remember eating a legend lately.

[Donna Walker @81Brokha]

Some people have a way with words, and other people...oh, uh, no way.

[Donna Payne @butyrskikhdari1]

I was a premature baby. My father wasn't expecting me.

[Judith Rosario @Feofaniya88]

Two types of honest people in this world are small children and drunk people.

[Carrie Hurt @AlempiadaMs]

The best way to make someone remember you? Borrow money from them.

[Pamela Nadeau @tbabalova]

Saying "Thats crazy" when you haven't been paying attention to what someone's saying.

[Lois Usry @SSanturyan]

Geez, you dress up like the Grim Reaper ONE time and they never let you back into this nursing home.

[Michelle Goodrich @78Anosova]

"In my defense, Your Honor, humans ARE animals too. Personally, I think you should blame the petting zoo sign for not being more specific."

[Michelle Goodrich @78Anosova]

"Age is just a number" - Yeah well...Jail is just a room.