Lynne Swarts

To fall in love is very easy, Staying in love is a challenge, Letting go is the hardest part.

[Karen Jimenez @drablenkov1]

"I wasn't that drunk..." "Dude, you were in my bathroom begging my sponge for the krabby patty formula."

[Lynne Swarts @84Venusta]

If you're SKINNY as hell [borderline anorexic] you ain't got NO business tryna go on a Diet. Fuck you tryna lose? Your life?

[Lynne Swarts @84Venusta]

Mum: Why is your room always so messy? Me: So that if someone comes in and tries to kill me, they'll trip over something and die.

[Lynne Swarts @84Venusta]

A computer science student cleaned his hands with a soap after removing a virus from his computer.

[Mary Spence @IlimashBasok]

Best feeling ever: Waking up and seeing you still have a couple hours to sleep.

[Lynne Swarts @84Venusta]

I wish my money would have sex in my wallet and multiply.

[Nell Sanchez @ArzamasovaMaya]

There's a special place in Hell reserved for people who use hashtags on Facebook.

[Emma Stevenson @76Garevskikh]

"Are you jealous?" - "Nope" - "Are you jealous?" - "I said NO!" - "Okay, give me a kiss?" - "Go ask your 'friend' for a kiss"

[Nell Sanchez @ArzamasovaMaya]

You're 12...you should be sucking on lollipops not dicks.

[Kristin Cruz @0Kgrenovskiy]

My son just said he likes 'the booty'. So now I have to convince his mom that the Cinemax show he watched with me was about pirates.

[Lynne Swarts @84Venusta]

On the highest throne in the world, we still sit only on our own bottom.

[Sherri Seaton @kurlovich2016]

Facebook: What's on your mind? ..Twitter: What's happening? ... Myspace: Where did everybody go?

[Lynne Swarts @84Venusta]

I don't have an attitude problem. You have a problem with my attitude, and that's not my problem.

[Joan Villarreal @oizotchenko]

Have you ever read a book by Shakespeare? No only by candlelight.

[Lynne Swarts @84Venusta]

Being nice to people you don't like isn't 'two faced', it's called growing up.

[Ana Travers @gabrielyants2]

I'm Not Arguing. I'm Simply Explaining Why I'm Right.

[Shannon Miller @mabrazheeva]

Facebook Is Like The Hood News. You Find Out Who Die, Who Was Fighting, Who Together, Who Broke Up, Who Fucking Who, Who Pregnant

[Lena Savage @izgarsheva1989]

Dear face wash commercials, nobody actually splashes their faces with water like that. Sincerely, my whole damn bathroom floor is wet.

[Lynne Swarts @84Venusta]

To catch me, you gotta be fast. To find me, you gotta be smart. To be me?! Sh*t! You gotta be kidding!

[Leigh Cavender @IrinarkhMr]

So when people yawn, do deaf people think they're screaming?