Andrew Bohlen

Pretty by dude standards.

[Mike Drucker @MikeDrucker]

The cruel wheel of time turns for us all

[Jersey Jerry @Jerrythekid21]

Sorry to the fans. Gutted beyond belief.
A lot of ups and a lot of downs this year but overall had so much fun. Everyone who supported us Thank You.

[Kyle Brownlee @_kylebrownlee]

how are unicorns fake but giraffes are real like what’s more believable a horse with a horn or a leopard-moose-camel with a 40 foot neck

[Viorica Marian @VioricaMarian1]

I once taught an 8 am college class. So many grandparents died that semester. I then moved my class to 3 pm. No more deaths. And that, my friends, is how I save lives.

[NASA Earth @NASAEarth]

Smoke, shown here in gray, can travel thousands of miles. Smoke from wildfires in the western U.S. looped all the way across the Atlantic Ocean to Europe. https://t.co/D1HDS5g5LI

[Samantha Ruddy @samlymatters]

If your coffee shop has a passive aggressive "no wifi pretend it's the old days" sign I'm gonna smoke in there & pay 50 cents for coffee.

[Isiah Whitlock Jr. @IsiahWhitlockJr]

#280characters? Sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-it!

[Joe Biden @JoeBiden]

We Veeps stick together. Jill and I, and all of the Bidens, are with you, Julia.

[Michael Beschloss @BeschlossDC]

Photograph taken by Canadian tourist 16 years ago today, on September 10, 2001: #Kuz

[squid @NatsSquid]

sometimes twitter is really good

[David Hughes @david8hughes]

[inventing dogs]
God: ur mans best friend
Dog: pretty sexist
God: no, man as in every-fuck it u can't talk
Dog: ...
God: & chocolate kills u

[Danny Zuker @DannyZuker]

As a kid I watched men walk on the moon & dreamed of the future. Thought by 2017 we'd be on Mars, not marching to defend science from idiots

[jonny sun @jonnysun]

*jesus picks up bread*
this is my body
*jesus picks up wine*
this is my blood
*jesus picks up guitar*
this is the STORY OF A GIRL

[The Establishment @ESTBLSHMNT]

One year ago today...this happened.

Happy Anniversary, Joy, wherever you are!

[Matt McDermott @mattmfm]

As Fox laments "countless" hours Trump spent negotiating, a reminder how long real negotiation takes...
ACA - 13 months
TrumpCare - 17 days

[Ben Wexler @mrbenwexler]

republicans are the true snowflakes (they're all white, they're cold, and if you put enough of em together they'll shut down public schools)

[Mikel Jollett @Mikel_Jollett]

Instagram: My life is a party.

Snapchat: My life is a quirky tv show

Facebook: My life turned out great!

Twitter: We're all going to die.

[The New York Times @nytimes]

A record 3 million people now subscribe to The New York Times. Facts matter. Thanks to all who support independent journalism.

[Arby’s Provocateur @SamGrittner]

I'm disappointed in Sarah Palin more than any other human being. She saw what Russia was doing from her backyard and chose to say nothing.