Your Former English Professor

Nothing matters apparently.

[Your Former English Professor @AwardProfessor]

Aw, @ass_deans even liked my “Twitter resignation.” Thank you for showing me that I’m finally worth your time 😉

[Your Former English Professor @AwardProfessor]

Also, that said, my most publicized social media post was on this account. Thank you #AcademicTwitter

[Your Former English Professor @AwardProfessor]

I have officially left academia. My true identity is @GrimmTyler. I wish you all the very best #academictwitter. I truly do. This account will be deleted soon. Also, F*** you, @ass_deans

[Your Former English Professor @AwardProfessor]

No man should even aim for power. We fucked it up and killed millions and traumatized billions. We’re done. I don’t even like posting this. I have sat down and shut up. Every other man needs to do the same. We’re done. And that’s good.

[Your Former English Professor @AwardProfessor]

2/2: ...to make women’s voices heard, to elevate those voices, and honestly, to enact revenge, and then lead us into a new world. I’m not absolved. Nothing violent or monstrous. But I’ve emotionally worked my way into what I wanted.

[Your Former English Professor @AwardProfessor]

1/2: I’m re-watching Big Little Lies. Stories about abused women are arguably of the utmost importance. I “love” these stories. They make me feel horrible for the 50000 years of violence, and they fuel me. I swear to fucking god, I will do whatever I can...

[Your Former English Professor @AwardProfessor]

@AcademiaHell Happened to me a few times. I’m still here. They still have that B+

[Your Former English Professor @AwardProfessor]

And with that, this academic has left the game (sort of). Your former English professor will now be writing for a group that lobbies on behalf of a certain sector of higher education. For a shitload of money.

[Your Former English Professor @AwardProfessor]

@ConfusedTeach13 Sprints, burpees, push ups, jumping jacks, etc. I used to just do circuits of these in my back yard. I need to get on that again.

[Your Former English Professor @AwardProfessor]

@TheUnkProfessor @AcerbicAcademic @histoftech @Twitter Wow. How’d you pull that off? Both my “real” account and my anonymous have been blocked. I’m a meat bag all around.

[𝙳𝚛 𝙱𝚒𝚝𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝙿𝚛𝚘𝚏𝚎𝚜𝚜𝚘𝚛 🇺🇦 @AcerbicAcademic]

Honest question: Is there anyone left out there who hasn't been blocked by @histoftech?
#meatpuppet #improfsters

@Twitter

[Your Former English Professor @AwardProfessor]

@lookatthescore Me too. I feel important now.

[The Grumpy Professor @grumprof]

If you're going to plagiarize, it's typically a good idea to make sure the font/background color/etc. isn't obviously changed from your own words. At least put some effort into your cheating! #failureatfailing

[Your Former English Professor @AwardProfessor]

@alliegator1004 @histoftech Me too. I feel important.

[Your Former English Professor @AwardProfessor]

Most people just fucking suck. And that is my scholarly finding after 11 years in academia.

[Your Former English Professor @AwardProfessor]

@noschool4me I’m all about the CV, but out of necessity. 115 is roughly 3 times what I make now. Even after 7 years.

[Your Former English Professor @AwardProfessor]

2/2 ... and ask if you missed anything important this week because you couldn’t make it to class. I’m done.

[Your Former English Professor @AwardProfessor]

1/2 In undergrad I was an officer for the New Student Orientation Committee. We developed the orientation programs and gave advice to new students, like, don’t ever email your professor at 6:30 Friday night...

[What's a syllabus? @FunWithSyllabi]

Anonymous academic twitter peeps, what 2 pieces of info about yourself would blow your cover & whittle the list of possible suspects down the most (with a #)?

Mine: if I told you my MA degree/specialty and my PhD specialty, the list would be less than 10 people (not kidding 🙊).

[Your Former English Professor @AwardProfessor]

@FunWithSyllabi The name of the magazine I write for would narrow it down to me and 2 or 3 others.