Em Swanson

Editor/writer | Nagi stan account | Clumsy broad | 🛼 | “It’s just Simpsons all the way down”

[Em Swanson @Em___]

Sophie Ellis-Bextor in 2001

[Em Swanson @Em___]

@algllgh So many people riding around without helmets and I feel so OLD for being mad at it but I just want people’s brains to stay in their skulls

[Em Swanson @Em___]

@justallroutine Happy Birthday!! 🥳🎈🎊💖

[Em Swanson @Em___]

@algllgh Once had the woman doing skin cancer checks at work tell me I “could stand to get more sun”

[Em Swanson @Em___]

@Glinner Jesus Christ get a life. There is too much hate in your heart.

[Em Swanson @Em___]

@mi4d0lan It’s been bugging me all day. I feel insane

[Em Swanson @Em___]

@moonyeyed Hair is looking fab here too!

[Em Swanson @Em___]

@Maskariio @badslop @skumWgmi https://t.co/kw7wWwvbJV

[Jamie @spacej_me]

A few months ago my 4yo got in the car after school and said “I’m the king of numbers” and I had kind of forgotten about it but today we were at a birthday party & one of the dads said “hey did you know all the kids in class calls your son the ‘king of numbers’ ?????????

[lana schwartz @_lanabelle]

the internet is forever unless you wrote an article for a website in 2015

[B. Gates @BGatesTweeeets]

Jamiroqui is the hat. You're thinking of Jamiroquai's monster.

[josh (oldfriend99) @oldfriend99]

The numbers 10-99 are called "the double digits". Memorize them. You don't want to be the guy at the party who's never heard of 57

[Em Swanson @Em___]

@Nomads4Pritzker @blahdevivre I fear “a feast for Pazuzu” has now entered my vocabulary

[Em Swanson @Em___]

@Mr_Cleric69 @EverySongIveEve This one was good too: https://t.co/IKmhbHyYKS

[Benny Feldman @Feldfrog]

New guy: ( gets stuck in the tar)

Me: (up to my neck in tar) welcome to the tar my man !

[Em Swanson @Em___]

@fartwich My heart hurts for you. I’m so sorry

[Em Swanson @Em___]

@fartwich Oh god I’m so sorry

[Em Swanson @Em___]

Huge day yesterday for people who fell in love with Oasis and made it their whole personality approx. 3 months after the band’s final show here in 2005

[Em Swanson @Em___]

@offbeatorbit This is so touching and beautiful. Thank you for sharing it with us 💜

[Em Swanson @Em___]

It’s like every day we get a new masterpiece

[Em Swanson @Em___]

@tonyngyn @maximalworm Still loads on my phone for some reason