GetCougarized

I'm on Twitter hiatus. I WILL BE BACK, so stay tuned... In the meantime, find me on Instagram: @GETCOUGARIZED

[GetCougarized @GetCougarized]

Taking a one-year breather from Twitter may cause you to lose others, but the fact you found yourself is all that really matters.

[Man Trouble @DrinkingatWork]

I'm not a loner, I just prefer intelligent company.

[DaddyJew @DaddyJew]

The hardest puzzle to put together is that of a woman with a broken heart.

[Cyanide Cynic @cyanidecynic]

*releases doves into ceiling fan*

*finally knows what it sounds like when dove cry*

[Cyanide Cynic @cyanidecynic]

Son just sat next to me, laid his head on my shoulder and said, "We're best friends, Dad".

Day owned.

[Busted Flip Flops @GrillinChillin9]

All we want is to get laid and for no one to touch our cell phones.

[Amy W @Ameiam]

I love a man with a great sense of humor. And by that, I mean he thinks I'm hilarious.

[Amy W @Ameiam]

Lost: 10 years Found: Me

[Amy W @Ameiam]

The worst part about having your shit together is that everyone comes to you for help.

[Amy W @Ameiam]

Is rock bottom when a 23 year old hottie hits on you and all you can think is you should really check with his mom first?

[Jamie Greenlees @JamieGreenlees]

Sometimes you just have to accept that shit happens. I mean look at your face.

[Matt @Matt_The_1st]

Gf: Check out this app, you will love it!

Me: Can I star and rt from it?

Gf: ...

Me: ???

Gf...

Me: I think I'll stick with twitter

[Ann @writerPT]

You say you have flaws…I say that’s what gives your canvas color.

[The Flounder Pounder @Amiigat]

I make mistakes.

I apologize.

I move on.

So should you.

[Kayditty @_kayditty]

My life would be so much better if every day came with a mandatory nap.

[Jenipher @jehujeni]

If you don’t want me eating your candy, learn how to hide it better.

[GetCougarized @GetCougarized]

Dieting is easy when you exhaust yourself from counting how many steps you'll have to take to burn those calories and just nap instead.

[Me @GrumpyOldFart40]

Beauty is not in the eye of the beholder, beauty is inside all of us... If you don't see it, no one else will.