Justin M Greek

[Tim @Playing_Dad]

*grabs microphone at register at Best Buy*
THE TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES WERE ACTUALLY TORTOISES. TURTLES LIVE IN WATER. GET OFF ME!

[Justin M Greek @Jurassic_Justin]

@GreaterIsMicah Every. Single. Time.

[chris Wineland @WinelandChris]

Sure Prez candidates, you talk about making this country better. But what can you do about the people who talk during movies? #realchange

[chrieeees @cwhudson]

garfield? more like barfield lmao seriously who feeds their cat lasagna give that cat some damn cat food maybe he'd be less depressed

[Franklin Graham @Franklin_Graham]

"Our chaotic, confused world has no greater need than to hear the message of good news-the Gospel of Jesus Christ." ~ @BillyGraham #BG97th

[Matt Kimble @kimblevisuals]

What you let your mind dwell on, you allow your heart to dwell in. What are you thinking about? Is it hurting or helping?

[Kris Vallotton @kvministries]

Jesus never meant for miracles to be an end in themselves, but rather an invitation into a superior Kingdom. -How Heaven Invades Earth

[Thomas Merton @MertonDaily]

If we wait for some people to become agreeable or attractive before we begin to love them, we will never begin.

[Reverend Scott @Reverend_Scott]

[job interview]

"That's all. Do you have any questions for us?"

Yes, think Superman ever blows his nose? What tissue could handle that??

[DaddyJew @DaddyJew]

Interviewer: what's your biggest weakness?

Dwayne Johnson: *sweating nervously* certainly not paper that's for sure

[Will Rodgers @xWILLRODGERSx]

When people tell me "You're gonna regret that in the morning" I sleep in til noon, because I'm a problem Solver

[Mattie Montgomery @ForTodayMattie]

Bring Me The Horizon wants to be this bathroom sink so bad

[GoaT FacE @EndhooS]

[2000]
"why do u want a tattoo?"
To express myself, to be an individual

[2015]
"Why don't u have a tattoo?"
To stand out & be an individual

[Sir Michael @Michael1979]

Hi @WWEUniverse. I've devised an exciting and relatable wrestling storyline. You can use it for free.

[Reverend Scott @Reverend_Scott]

Dog 911: what's ur emergency?

Dog: THEYRE PUSHIN THAT LOUD THING AROUND ON THE CARPET AGAIN

Dog 911: OMG

Dog: OMG

Dog 911: OMG

Dog: OMG

[Justin M Greek @Jurassic_Justin]

@brooklynraeg I once tried to explain who Bon Dylan was only to find out the person also didn't know Jimi Hendrix or Guns and Roses.

[DaddyJew @DaddyJew]

Back in my day we had another word for selfie sticks, we called them friends.

[Justin M Greek @Jurassic_Justin]

@WreckedRonnie life goals https://t.co/jcgLx8KBqe

[Wildo @ClickBaite]

ME: *Happily clicks the Tweet button, proud of my creation*

*Notices typo*

ME: *Screams in slow motion* NOOOO, YOU IDIIIOOT!!