Victoria Kite

Never plan a future with people who don't have future plans.

[Victoria Kite @KletsinMs]

Once you turn 21, you can finally legally do all the things you've been doing since you were 16.

[Heather Nelson @KorzhinPolikarp]

If they ain't gonna ride for you then they shouldn't be riding with you.

[Victoria Kite @KletsinMs]

A politician will stand for what he thinks people will fall for.

[Victoria Kite @KletsinMs]

Oh,you liked the book better than the movie? You know what I liked about the movie, No reading!

[Ashley Boulanger @pukhovkin]

I'd like to help you out, which way did you come in?

[Victoria Kite @KletsinMs]

Admit it, you should be doing something else really important right now but you're on Twitter instead.

[Helen Shumaker @VesninNazariy]

My son told me he could see the future. So I punched him in the face. "Guess you're not very good at it."

[Kari Voss @sonov90]

I hate when people borrow money from you then get mad at you cause you want your money back.

[Victoria Kite @KletsinMs]

If someone asks you about a musical you haven't seen, fake it by saying, "I love that part near the end when they all sing together."

[Margaret Newman @plugarevserapi1]

The awkward moment when the GPS tells a gay guy to go straight.

[Victoria Kite @KletsinMs]

FUCK SCHOOL. FUCK THEM TEACHERS. FUCK THE PRINCIPAL. FUCK THEM UGLY ASS KIDS. FUCK THEM RULES. FUCK HOMEWORK. FUCK THEM FINALS. FUCK IT ALL!

[Victoria Kite @KletsinMs]

If she's a Hoe in her Tweets.. Then she's a Hoe in the Streets!

[Victoria Kite @KletsinMs]

If a man fails to open a jar, he must kill all witnesses.

[Beverly Donahue @DSpataev1976]

You know it's gonna be a great story when it starts of with, "So this bitch..."

[Victoria Kite @KletsinMs]

If he asks what sort of books you like, tell him checkbooks.

[Cheryl Collins @ipochkarev]

The computer beat me at chess, I won when it came to the kick boxing.

[Victoria Kite @KletsinMs]

Every Morning: Me: "I really can't stay." Bed: "But baby, it's cold outside."

[Victoria Kite @KletsinMs]

Children seldom misquote you. They repeat word for word what you should not have said.

[Victoria Kite @KletsinMs]

I prefer not to think before I speak. I like being just as surprised as everyone else by what comes out of my mouth.

[Daisy Reece @InetaKuybysheva]

Loyal women deserve the best!