Neilsen Waters

lamp lover

[Ben Crew @BenjaminCrew1]

After you retire they unlock new exclusive movies for you. Dad asked if I had watched the Jeff Daniels Ronald Reagan movie. That doesn't exist for me yet. I'm not able to see that.

[slick @dlicj]

my neighbor just told me about an alien sighting he had that was just a regular southwest boeing 737 in the sky but he said he could see into the cockpit with binoculars and there was an alien flying it

[Brooks Otterlake @i_zzzzzz]

I love goods. But sometimes services just hit

[paddle @ipaddlearound]

her: hows ur night bean?

me: who told you about that.

her: **been

her: what?

[Thomas White @len0killer]

Republicans: We need another civil war right now.

Democrats: Girl you gotta VOTE for it then💛💙

Nelly if he was a bullfrog: If you wanna come and eat a fly with me, swim around in the pond when we’re frisky, oh why do I love this lake (Hey! Bugs in my tummy!)

[chris person @Papapishu]

Rest in peace to Mike F. One of the best to ever do it. I’m kinda devastated man.

[Neilsen Waters @NeilsenWaters]

@MattBroshar Holy freaking crap

[Matt Chernoff @RealMattlanta]

Give the Falcons credit. They always find new and inventive ways to lose games.

A tradition since 1966. We’ll do it again next week.

[Atlanta Braves @Braves]

On behalf of #BravesCountry, thank you Snit 💙

[Neilsen Waters @NeilsenWaters]

Beer before liquor, never been more in the clear

[hb @h3xenbrenner2]

We’re looking for a drummer for our band The Drummer Murderers

[Neilsen Waters @NeilsenWaters]

CCR every time it rains

[Neilsen Waters @NeilsenWaters]

@chrisdimino Dimino… you just leave your soundbar there?

[summer 🖕 @salesforcechild]

me to my 4 year old son: i just got off the phone with santa and he is so angry about what you did that i am genuinely afraid for your life. we need to put you in hiding because at this point i think he would even kill me to get to you.

[Neilsen Waters @NeilsenWaters]

You’ve heard of Elf on a Shelf. Now get ready for the worst series of memes you’ve ever seen.

[Matthew @sponhourm]

Use your first ball in the Dr Pepper challenge to beam your opponent in the head

[Neilsen Waters @NeilsenWaters]

Go dawgs #secchamps

[pj @pjayevans]

(Guy who somehow has a Cap’n Crunch credit card) do you take Cap’n Crunch?

[Neilsen Waters @NeilsenWaters]

The newest tongue twister just dropped: freckled sphincter freckled sphincter freckled sphincter

[Neilsen Waters @NeilsenWaters]

The new Stone Mountain laser show by the creators of South Park