Nerd Dee Kiwi

It's not stalking.... I'm just observing.

[Nerd Dee Kiwi @NerdDeeKiwi]

Sir, I need to inspect your pants for a weapon of ass destruction.

*Me flirting.

[Nerd Dee Kiwi @NerdDeeKiwi]

It's been a long time Twitter! Maybe not long enough... Perhaps I shall depart again 😊

[Nerd Dee Kiwi @NerdDeeKiwi]

Valentines cupcakes I made 😁

[Nerd Dee Kiwi @NerdDeeKiwi]

My diet plan is to eat giant versions of food. A giant cookie still only counts as one cookie.

[Nerd Dee Kiwi @NerdDeeKiwi]

[At the gym]

What does this machine do?

"Ma'am, that's a chair for visitors".

Perfect!

[Nerd Dee Kiwi @NerdDeeKiwi]

I would normally eat veggies, but I'm anemic.... So... Yeah, you could say I do this for my health.... *picks up her meat lovers pizza*

[Nerd Dee Kiwi @NerdDeeKiwi]

Do ice cubes that fall on the floor disappear into the same void that missing socks go?

[Kellalena ™ @topaz_kell]

I enjoy short walks into oncoming traffic.

[The Chemist @68Cly29]

Nibbling on corn on the cob on a date doesn't turn her on as much as I expected

I know this now

Licks butter off my lips

[MichaelTrying @MichaelTrying]

Shouldn't "Circle K" just be "OK"?

[Cheeky Poetic Bitch @deedragonhunter]

Intelligence is the best time zone.

[Chincha @chincha33]

My social anxiety is so bad I can't even go in a DM room.

[Chincha @chincha33]

"Pain is a blessing...let's you know you are alive!"

Fuck you.

[Chincha @chincha33]

There is funny twitter, inspirational twitter, etc. Is there a drug twitter?

Asking for a friend.

[Suburbia_Mommy @runner_mom2]

You're just the right amount of emotionally deranged to keep me interested

[Bʀɪᴀɴɪᴀᴄ® @BGH70]

Maybe she's born with it, maybe she's a whackadoo.

[Kris P. Kreme @krisv_723]

Just invite me to your wedding. I can be your "something old".

[Johnny at Home @TweetingJohnny]

I go vegan in between each bite for just a split second.

[.·.xo.·. @xofreckles]

Once, I got pulled over because a cop thought my car was on fire but really it was just my hair flying out the sunroof.