The Holy Cow, פרה ד'אתרא

Bio: hazard, authorized personnel only beyond this point 👉 °
Cynic She'nishbah

[The Holy Cow, פרה ד'אתרא @TURXJOKES]

Shower Thought:

Shmone Esrei was invented so that people who don't take showers could have shower thoughts

[Jake Turx, Senior White House Correspondent @JakeTurx]

Don't forget to say Nassrall-Hanisim

[The Holy Cow, פרה ד'אתרא @TURXJOKES]

@Briskerov @IlanBlock @AssociatedFress @RafiWeinstein @ldkop @FrumHumor @brisker @wan2b007 @SidelockHolmes @JewishCurses @yoniChanowitz @Twit_Or_Miss @soveryisraeli I show up on days when the rest of y'all aren't funny. In other news, I'm nearly never around.

[S ilan block @IlanBlock]

a rare look inside the @AssociatedFress newsroom

with @RafiWeinstein @ldkop @FrumHumor @brisker @TURXJOKES @wan2b007 @SidelockHolmes @JewishCurses @yoniChanowitz @Twit_Or_Miss and @soveryisraeli running on the table

[The Holy Cow, פרה ד'אתרא @TURXJOKES]

@AssociatedFress @FrumHumor @Briskerov @soveryisraeli @ldkop @RafiWeinstein @IlanBlock @JewishCurses @yoniChanowitz @SidelockHolmes @Twit_Or_Miss @wan2b007 @mosheklass Lost in the whole news cycle is the fact that I got unceremoniously booted off the group.

[Jake Turx, Senior White House Correspondent @JakeTurx]

But don't the Jews own all the banks anyway?

[The Holy Cow, פרה ד'אתרא @TURXJOKES]

@JakeTurx Captcha be like: Select every image with BUS

[The Holy Cow, פרה ד'אתרא @TURXJOKES]

English be like:

Q. Who ha'ish ha'chofetz chaim?

A. Me ha'ish ha'chofetz chaim!

Hebrew be like:

Q. Mi ha'ish ha'chofetz chaim?

A. Hu ha'ish ha'chofetz chaim!

[Shalom Mann @shalommann]

@JakeTurx Chafetz Chaim 🤔

[The Holy Cow, פרה ד'אתרא @TURXJOKES]

So during the kiddush, right?

[Elder of Ziyon 🇮🇱 @elderofziyon]

Another lie: The Saturday Gaza airstrike was NOT during prayer - it was 15 minutes after prayers were over https://t.co/FJm4Kd27JY

[The Holy Cow, פרה ד'אתרא @TURXJOKES]

היום האריס עולם...

[The Holy Cow, פרה ד'אתרא @TURXJOKES]

@RafiWeinstein @Briskerov @JakeTurx It's all economy class. Our row gets the extra legroom, but at a cost of listening to all the safety propaganda. Not my rules.

[The Holy Cow, פרה ד'אתרא @TURXJOKES]

@YossiGestetner @ZalmanGelbman @JakeTurx @MosesKahana And in Soviet Russia, hotel room window falls for you

[The Holy Cow, פרה ד'אתרא @TURXJOKES]

If Secret Service wants to get another shot at Trump, they may have to wait until he's back in the White House

[The Holy Cow, פרה ד'אתרא @TURXJOKES]

Business opportunity: a hashgacha that rates nosh packaging based on how Shabbos friendly they are in terms of tear-ability

[Frum TikTok @FrumTikTok]

📣 A request to all Kosher/Heimish food companies:

Please make your products Shabbos friendly, so we can open them up without ripping any letters.

Any company that would have Shabbos friendly packaging, would get rewarded by the consumers.

[S ilan block @IlanBlock]

that time @JakeTurx went undercover for an article

[The Holy Cow, פרה ד'אתרא @TURXJOKES]

Reb Yirmiyah *post Techiyas Hameisim*: Okay, let's do the regular case of shor shenogach, but also throw in 3 girls, 4 motorcycles and it's all unfolding in the middle of a crowded Indian marketplace.

AI:

[S ilan block @IlanBlock]

but this is my emotional support antisemitism

[The Holy Cow, פרה ד'אתרא @TURXJOKES]

I go through the Lakewood Shopper for its classifieds, and mi'toch she'loi li'schmutter bah li'schmutter

@MSchmutter

[The Holy Cow, פרה ד'אתרא @TURXJOKES]

Shmuel Kunda Presents: the Longest Purim

[Nick Griffin @NickGriffinBU]

If you wonder why Israel hasn't hit Iran yet, remember that Purim is approaching.

This is when the Jews celebrate their escape from alleged persecution by the PERSIAN King Haman, and their bloody revenge.

Purim this year is 22-30 April, so that gives us the most likely date for the most dangerous escalation towards WW3 so far.

[Frum Humor @FrumHumor]

Jake Turx, every time he's invited onto a podcast to discuss Sefer Ovadia
@TURXJOKES

[The Holy Cow, פרה ד'אתרא @TURXJOKES]

I hear they have a special rendition of Shefoch Hamas-cha

[Yagdil Isn't Brisk @Briskerov]

I just want to know where they plan on being ‘LeShana HaBaah’