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Svenn Amish
@amishschool
Aspiring author, musician, songwriter, comedian, thespian, equestrian, lesbian. Three books short of my first trilogy.
In therapy.
Joined February 2011
8.9K
Following
9.6K
Followers
17.4K
Posts
Pinned Tweet
Svenn Amish
@amishschool
about 12 years ago
Where on LinkedIn do we list our medications?
amishschool
retweeted
Mr.Carter
@dexteristwisted
22 days ago
Not all ex's are horrible.. look at me I'm someones ex, and I'm freaking delightful
amishschool
retweeted
Stu, For Real
@StuForReal
27 days ago
Woke up as an unwitting accomplice again
amishschool
retweeted
Damon Hunzeker
@DamonHunzeker
26 days ago
Tweet with me if you want to live.
Who to follow
Uncle Bob 🍩
@UncleBob56
Grandpa, teacher, outdoorsman, dad joker, beer drinker extraordinaire. My top tweet is coming out tomorrow. #EnvyDaStrength #LuvPug #BlessTheBlueEyedBoy
X Alqee
@Xalqee
The Cake is a Lie
Dead Pan Nick
@Contwixt
24/7/365 Observer. Frequent participant. Occasional make-happener. Clouds.
amishschool
retweeted
Mr.Carter
@dexteristwisted
26 days ago
That angry moment when it's time to sneeze.... and your body is like "Haha psych "
Svenn Amish
@amishschool
26 days ago
I bought one of those standing desks and I use it all the time after sawing off the legs and placing it on the couch.
Svenn Amish
@amishschool
26 days ago
Look if you’re going to throw the baby out ANYWAY, then absolutely do it with the bath water. Way more eco-friendly.
amishschool
retweeted
Not Today Eric
@NotTodayEric
about 1 month ago
Facebook: your family is here. Instagram: your friends are here. Twitter: there is a cow here.
Svenn Amish
@amishschool
about 1 month ago
Does the person have to be dead to have them cryogenically frozen?
amishschool
retweeted
The B.
@anerdonfire2
about 1 month ago
I'm not sure if I hate you or vegetables more.
amishschool
retweeted
Mr.Carter
@dexteristwisted
about 1 month ago
I dream of a universe where chickens can cross the road and not have their motives questioned
amishschool
retweeted
Damon Hunzeker
@DamonHunzeker
about 1 month ago
As of yesterday, I’m fifty-five years old. That means I’m closer to sixty than fifty. I’ve almost gone fully distinguished.
amishschool
retweeted
Julio, Marc's Imaginary Pet Monkey
@MonkeysMarch
about 1 month ago
I'll come to your party if there's no one else but me and it's also at my house.
amishschool
retweeted
Bö Jänke: Hönkÿ
@Bob_Janke
about 2 months ago
Talking to this super old geezer at the gym and OH MY GOD HES THREE YEARS YOUNGER THAN ME
amishschool
retweeted
Granite Man 🏴
@GraniteDhuine
about 2 months ago
Why are ADHD tweets so long?
amishschool
retweeted
Forward March
@RunOldMan
about 2 months ago
·
Herndon
I just sighed so hard, I almost passed out.
Svenn Amish
@amishschool
about 2 months ago
I like to hide behind humor and this tree.
amishschool
retweeted
Damon Hunzeker
@DamonHunzeker
3 months ago
I went to a therapist and all I got was this lousy psychological equilibrium.
Svenn Amish
@amishschool
about 2 months ago
Don’t EVER give up. You will achieve great things in life. No, not YOU - the guy behind you that doesn’t look like a complete failure.
amishschool
retweeted
Forward March
@RunOldMan
over 5 years ago
Lady was pissy when I insisted on walking with her to the parking lot, but it was raining and she had an umbrella.
Svenn Amish
@amishschool
about 2 months ago
You know those little plastic bubbles inside a bag labeled “Do Not Eat”? Can we eat those?
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