Svenn Amish

Aspiring author, musician, songwriter, comedian, thespian, equestrian, lesbian. Three books short of my first trilogy.

[Svenn Amish @amishschool]

Where on LinkedIn do we list our medications?

[Mr.Carter @dexteristwisted]

Not all ex's are horrible.. look at me I'm someones ex, and I'm freaking delightful

[Stu, For Real @StuForReal]

Woke up as an unwitting accomplice again

[Damon Hunzeker @DamonHunzeker]

Tweet with me if you want to live.

[Mr.Carter @dexteristwisted]

That angry moment when it's time to sneeze.... and your body is like "Haha psych "

[Svenn Amish @amishschool]

I bought one of those standing desks and I use it all the time after sawing off the legs and placing it on the couch.

[Svenn Amish @amishschool]

Look if you’re going to throw the baby out ANYWAY, then absolutely do it with the bath water. Way more eco-friendly.

[Not Today Eric @NotTodayEric]

Facebook: your family is here.
Instagram: your friends are here.
Twitter: there is a cow here.

[Svenn Amish @amishschool]

Does the person have to be dead to have them cryogenically frozen?

[The B. @anerdonfire2]

I'm not sure if I hate you or vegetables more.

[Mr.Carter @dexteristwisted]

I dream of a universe where chickens can cross the road and not have their motives questioned

[Damon Hunzeker @DamonHunzeker]

As of yesterday, I’m fifty-five years old. That means I’m closer to sixty than fifty. I’ve almost gone fully distinguished.

[Julio, Marc's Imaginary Pet Monkey @MonkeysMarch]

I'll come to your party if there's no one else but me and it's also at my house.

[Bö Jänke: Hönkÿ @Bob_Janke]

Talking to this super old geezer at the gym and OH MY GOD HES THREE YEARS YOUNGER THAN ME

[Granite Man 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 @GraniteDhuine]

Why are ADHD tweets so long?

[Forward March @RunOldMan]

I just sighed so hard, I almost passed out.

[Svenn Amish @amishschool]

I like to hide behind humor and this tree.

[Damon Hunzeker @DamonHunzeker]

I went to a therapist and all I got was this lousy psychological equilibrium.

[Svenn Amish @amishschool]

Don’t EVER give up. You will achieve great things in life.

No, not YOU - the guy behind you that doesn’t look like a complete failure.

[Forward March @RunOldMan]

Lady was pissy when I insisted on walking with her to the parking lot, but it was raining and she had an umbrella.

[Svenn Amish @amishschool]

You know those little plastic bubbles inside a bag labeled “Do Not Eat”?

Can we eat those?