Me: You guys have a 90-minute school delay.
Kids: So what time will the buses come?
Me: [starts doing math in head]
[5 minutes later]
Kids: Dad we asked-
Me: Just start waiting outside right now.
Me: "I can't concentrate; I need quiet for just a minute."
7y.o: "Oh, ok! How many seconds is a minute? 60, right? Ok, one, two, three, four, five, six...."
*relaxing quietly on the couch with my husband*
Don’t say it
Don’t say it
Don’t say it
Don’t say it
Don’t say it
Don’t say it
Don’t say it
Don’t say it
Me: “What are you thinking about?”
My husband and I called my sweet, 85-year-old grandma to tell her I got a new job.
She congratulated us, talked for a bit, and then hung up.
Later she called me to say I should open a secret bank account and never tell my husband about it.
My grandma is fierce.
I’ll be glad when my kids are old enough to take care of themselves, but I’m really going to miss how they mispronounce words, and snuggle-up next to me when they’re tired or scared.
"What are you thinking about when I'm naked?" This Podcast couple certainly wears its heart on its sleeve. @MarriageMartini @nypost https://t.co/gY144HYeiq
Other people have honor roll magnets on their cars and I’m over here life, today was amazing because my kid actually did homework without me having to scream until my head explodes. Where’s that bumper sticker?
Note to self who wants to eventually fall back to sleep: DO NOT check your child’s grades on the school app when you get up to pee in the middle of the night.
Friend: want to join our “book club?”
Me: omg not even a little. But if you know someone who runs a “nap club,” I would be totally down for joining that.
I definitely wouldn’t get so annoyed with my 6 yr old for being so rambunctious if when he expelled all that extra energy we could somehow channel it to charge my phone battery just as it’s about to die.