Patrick Gallagher

Smash Your Hosting Problems... so you can get back to far more important smashing.

Girl dad, husband, nerd.

Swears well with others.

[Patrick Gallagher @gridpane]

@jdevalk Tanstack would be WAY easier to consume by the unwashed masses if they competed directly with Lovable.

It's not Lovables fault they're worth billions.

It's Tanstacks fault they're worth zero.

[Patrick Gallagher @gridpane]

@yhyhyh72003 @srikat Way better than that on every imaginable axis.

Look at the issue #29 there, about failing to handle escaped URLs.

That issue was raised by my CTO and cofounder.

In 2021.

And... zero responses.

[Patrick Gallagher @gridpane]

Who does a LOT of search and replace (of domains) in WordPress?

Think: Staging pushes, migrations from one host to another, development domain to production *AND* you deal with insanely large databases?

(AKA Hours and hours of toil and misery)

Cuz I'm yer new bestie...

[Patrick Gallagher @gridpane]

@amasad Dude... this is huge!

[Patrick Gallagher @gridpane]

@enqueue_russ That's the only way to materially shorten your life 😂

It's way too slow.

On a massive DB we're talking the difference between 24 hours and single digit minutes.

Will post some comparison data soon.

Multithreaded go is orderS of magnitude faster.

[Patrick Gallagher @gridpane]

@chriswagoner @srikat We can, yes.

Or ingest mysql dumps, either one.

[Patrick Gallagher @gridpane]

@KatieKeithBarn2 @jordantwestecom “What’s one piece of advice you would give…”

Pukes out 27 platitudes.

[Patrick Gallagher @gridpane]

@srikat Multi threaded Go application that I've been working on for 18 months.

It was amazing in early 2025 and I've been ratcheting it up every few months.

Hitting NVMe read/write bottlenecks now so there's not much more to improve.

3+ orders of magnitude faster than PHP.

[Patrick Gallagher @gridpane]

@srikat A 10+ GB database via WP-CLI would be many MANY hours. More than a day possibly.

And it would miss an enormous amount of cases.

(https to http, www to root, escaped URLs, double escaped)

Single threaded PHP un/serialization 18 different ways...

NOPE.

[Patrick Gallagher @gridpane]

@markgadala I don’t believe in umbrellas.

Not in the sense that I don’t believe that they exist, but in the sense that I don’t want to carry one. Ever.

Certainly this is “artistic” and it exists.

But I wouldn’t pay a nickel for it.

And I’ve spent a decent amount on art.

[Patrick Gallagher @gridpane]

@srikat How fast does that run on a 10+ GB database?

I’m at about 5 seconds with millions of replacements.

[Patrick Gallagher @gridpane]

@photomatt @jonoalderson Yes, agree, more should be told.

[Patrick Gallagher @gridpane]

@FDavidsonT I wanna go to Iceland and stay in that house that is basically the entire movie set of the movie Deus Ex Machina.

[Patrick Gallagher @gridpane]

@andrewdfeldman @cerebras When do we get new models at non-enterprise tiers homeslice? It's basically a parlor trick at this point.

"Last years models at next year speeds" isn't very compelling.

[Patrick Gallagher @gridpane]

@RobHoffman_ Told you this was a great idea @thejeremyredman !

[Patrick Gallagher @gridpane]

@PeterDiamandis I'm bullish on us getting to AGI and ASI in my lifetime.

But we still have a horrifically bad hallucination problem today.

For the 42% that Opus doesn't know now it will very confidently tell you an answer that sounds right but could kill you.

Which is very not AGI.

[Patrick Gallagher @gridpane]

@jordan_ross_8F What’s amazing about Justin is that he is THE solo millionaire guy but he did GTM to tens of millions ARR TWICE at big orgs.

He could just as easily be the SaaS GTM guru and make way more money off enterprises.

But that would be stressful and annoying and he’s BTDT.

[Patrick Gallagher @gridpane]

@ZackKorman Even if this works it takes catching two lightning bolts in a bottle:

1.) The person would have to want to have their job taken away.

2.) They would need to iterate for months on what their *entire* process is, in a way that could be useful in markdown.

Ask me how I know.

[Patrick Gallagher @gridpane]

@ianmisner How do I buy? Link to checkout page RFN!

[Patrick Gallagher @gridpane]

@lucaspatiri_ UGC