Lisa Norris

Haters will broadcast your failure, but whisper your success.

[Lisa Norris @pavlinl1]

"I wasn't that drunk" "Dude you asked your girlfriend if she was single!"

[Ada Keith @2016_issa]

Son asked about sex..."Well son, it's like bees. When they poke something, their stinger gets ripped off & they die. Then a bird eats them."

[Lisa Norris @pavlinl1]

You're 12...you should be sucking on lollipops not dicks.

[Lisa Norris @pavlinl1]

Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy vodka, comic books, midget strippers, a pony andOH GOD I'M SO HAPPY!

[Lisa Norris @pavlinl1]

I'm on a seafood diet. Every time I see food, I eat it.

[Lisa Norris @pavlinl1]

1-800-CHOKE-A-HOE

[Rita Salazar @1992Ignashev]

That awkward moment when you fail at being mad at someone because they make you laugh.

[Velma Jones @izumixBlon]

Two types of honest people in this world are small children and drunk people.

[Maria Harden @stakin74]

That awkward moment when you fail at being mad at someone because they make you laugh.

[Lisa Norris @pavlinl1]

People say 'you never know what you had until its gone' Truth is: you know exactly what you had, you just never thought you would lose it.

[Lisa Norris @pavlinl1]

Your parents may not be the most perfect one. But they are the most perfect gift God ever given you.

[Lizette Bolton @ewazeBurck]

STD free, NO kids. Life's GREAT !

[Laurie Yohe @GelsemMega]

A jealous woman does better research than FBI

[Lisa Norris @pavlinl1]

When someone tells you to, "expect the unexpected", slap them in the face and ask them if they expected it.

[Elizabeth Monahan @sgradislava]

Sometimes God doesn't give what you want. Not because you don't deserve it, but because you deserve more!

[Lisa Norris @pavlinl1]

"Never Mind." Definition: You should've listened the first 3 times b*tch.

[Lisa Norris @pavlinl1]

It's sad when dudes cheat on their beautiful girlfriends with baby monkeys, hamsters, guppies, turtles, and every zoo animal you can name.

[Lynne McCoy @86Apollos]

Yelling random numbers when someones counting. You are truly cruel!

[Maria Yates @MegaNesvat]

That moment of disappointment when you can't find the answer to your homework on Google.