Ursula Du Toit

A firm believer in God, ante nuptial contracts, dishwashers and white wine.

[Stefan Urquelle @OfficeofSteve]

Go play outside kids, the graphics are great

[Jimboswelt @JIMBOSWELT]

Make the possible, impossible so you can nap. #inspiration

[The Poppy Ntshongwana Show @PoppyIsMyName]

Poppy x Lindt x YOU x New York 😬 So we're giving away a trip to NYC .. Come #SingHELLO and you could… https://t.co/CIjRcfAtJl

[TattleTaleSister @TattleTSister]

My phone is my padded room.

[Kent Graham @KentWGraham]

I call my mother twice a week. Or as she refers to it, “Never.”

[Trudacious @Trudacious]

You should open a bar tab for your Mom today and leave her alone!

[Sassy Cupcake @SassyTexasGal]

Twitter is just one big complicated case of multiple personality disorder.

[OneFunnyMummy @OneFunnyMummy]

Happy hour is awesome, but the happiest hour is the one after your children go to bed.

[яicку @iinkedZombie]

Feeding the kids leftovers counts as recycling, right?

[Robert Knop @FatherWithTwins]

4yo: Did Mommy say it was ok?
Me: Daddy said it was ok, and Daddy's in charge
4yo: *whispers* not all the time

[Anna Nonymous @osoplain]

I'm not sure if the ignorance level is high or my tolerance is low today

[818 @818Newbie]

The Duchess has now provided an heir and a spare.

[K @theactualfuc]

Never been able to figure out why shops sell bookmarks. I don't want a bookmark. I want a book that makes me not want to have to use one.

[Ursula Du Toit @ursuladt]

@cecildt How wearing a suit alters the way you think http://t.co/ZFRtxe4hsV

[Noodles @Dawn_M_]

I wish I had three lifetimes to hear more about your allergies.

[Sarcastic Mommy @sarcasticmommy4]

Some mornings I think, "maybe we'll skip school today," & then they start arguing & I get them to school 20 minutes early.

[SoulBrodeler @SoulYodeler]

Today's random act of kindness: feeding pepperoni slices to our vegan neighbor's toddler, through the mail slot.