Susan Everett

Never be afraid to start over, It's a new chance to rebuild what you want.

[Susan Everett @xyjojRa]

"I love you." *erases* "I miss you." *erases* "Can we talk?" *erases* "Hi." *sends*..

[Susan Everett @xyjojRa]

Twitter has a bird as its logo , that's why when you join you're an egg . & your home button is a birdhouse . Why am I just getting this ?

[Susan Everett @xyjojRa]

Cop: "Sir, what's in that bottle next to you? Me: "It's water..." Cop: "Sir, this is wine" Me: "What? That damn Jesus! He did it again!"

[Susan Everett @xyjojRa]

Marriage is the most expensive way to get advice for nothing.

[Julie Martin @Bludnishchev93E]

Only dull people are brilliant at breakfast.

[Susan Everett @xyjojRa]

Once you take my kindness for weakness, I will be a permanent asshole to you.

[Vicki Dennie @86Flisa]

When you are losing an argument on the internet, remember that attacking your opponents spelling and punctuation is always advisable.

[Elizabeth Conti @platays_zinoviy]

Liking a Facebook status that is clearly about you, because you're a fearless bastard.

[Louise Gerow @umakozG]

Wifi & Wife? Neighbors Have An Eye On Both Of Them.

[Brenda Stlaurent @bmelentiy]

I've tried to guess someone's password but failed.

[Maggie Whatley @ArefLady]

Loyal women deserve the best!

[Gina Brown @1fPsverdlikova]

No... I'm not drunk.. Floors need hugs too.

[Paula Burns @1993Ereshchenko]

If I'm being sarcastic, please don't take offense. It's just my way of not punching you in the face.

[Susan Everett @xyjojRa]

Black People Pray when they bout to Whoop somebodys Ass! "Lawd gimme strength before I Beat this Bitch ASS! Amen"

[Susan Everett @xyjojRa]

The Gaga Law (RAH)^2 (AH)^3 + RO (MA + MAMA) + (GA)^2 + OOH(LA)^2 = Bad Romance.

[Melissa Bradshaw @ANeverlan]

*Low battery* *Low battery* *Low battery* Well apparently you have enough battery to remind me every 2 seconds.

[Thea Vergara @MissErazm]

I still think Barack Obama stole "Yes We Can" from Bob the Builder..

[Susan Everett @xyjojRa]

Grammar jokes are funny: The past, present, and future walk into a bar. It was tense.

[Betty Gobeil @MKukinovy]

You know when you walk into a room and forget why you went in there? That's God playing Sims, he just cancelled your action.