Dierdre Bowman

A person who chases two rabbits catches neither. #stayfocused

[Denise Cordes @85Zosima]

It's not hard to find someone who tells you they love you, Its Hard To find someone who actually means it.

[Dierdre Bowman @XGpundik]

Misfortune is the kind of fortune that never misses.

[Dierdre Bowman @XGpundik]

Those cheap-ass pencils with erasers that fu*k up the paper more than the mistake you want to erase.

[Veronica Gall @Stelmashuk2016]

Just held the door for an Asian guy. He said "Sank you", so I punched him in the face, I can't believe he brought up Pearl Harbor like that

[Dierdre Bowman @XGpundik]

Who else hates the sound of their own voice on video? >.<

[Selene Sermons @lbakhin1]

If you dont know shit, dont say shit.

[Sheila Dobbs @GeybergMs]

What are the largest ants in the world? Gi-ants!

[Brenda Stephens @81Semendyaeva]

I saw a man at the beach yelling. "Help, shark! Help!" I just laughed. I knew that shark wasn't going to help him.

[Dierdre Bowman @XGpundik]

Grammar jokes are funny: The past, present, and future walk into a bar. It was tense.

[Flora Parker @tevfimiy]

How did the Dinosaur pass his exam? With Extinction!

[Dierdre Bowman @XGpundik]

"Are you gay?"

[Dierdre Bowman @XGpundik]

My life is like a DeLorean that can only go 87 mph.

[Dierdre Bowman @XGpundik]

I think that women should put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans.

[Dierdre Bowman @XGpundik]

Just saw two homeless men hitting each other with pieces of cardboard. Pillow fight!

[Arlene Palmer @KParnova77]

Dear Job Application, if this is an entry level position, how am I supposed to have previous experience...

[Dierdre Bowman @XGpundik]

Don't mix between my personality and my attitude because my personality is ME and my attitude depends on YOU.