Mary Todd

In life you will meet two kinds of people. Ones who build you up, and ones who tear you down. But in the end, you will thank them both.

[Mary Todd @msibilla1]

If you hurt my best friend, I will make your death look like an accident.

[Mary Todd @msibilla1]

Think of a number. Double it. Add six. Half it. Take away the number you started with. Your answer is three. Isn't it mind blowing?

[Carolyn Sturdevant @aledinskiy]

That awkward moment when you accidentally make eye contact with someone like 5 times.

[Angela Greene @asemyachkina]

Anyone else hate tomatoes but like ketchup?.

[Mary Todd @msibilla1]

Our generation gonna have the weirdest looking grandparents ever... Tatted and pierced up. ''Grandma got tats & a lip ring yo!"

[Patricia Stoll @bakhmutovvsesl1]

Dear Board of Education, so are we.

[Mary Todd @msibilla1]

Free advice is worth what you paid for it.

[Shannon Miller @mabrazheeva]

My youngest son pointed to a picture of R2D2 and said, "WALL-E!" ...He's dead to me now.

[Mary Todd @msibilla1]

We feed our baby onions so we can find him in the dark at night.

[Mary Todd @msibilla1]

It's so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and then don't say it.

[Mary Sommers @92Ravza]

"Ask not what you can do for your country. Ask whats for lunch." - Orson Welles

[Mary Todd @msibilla1]

Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident.

[Valerie Rosa @gladinov]

Once you take my kindness for weakness, I will be a permanent asshole to you.

[Laura Hooley @fnigiyan]

Listening to someone tell a story and thinking: Lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie.

[Mary Thompson @LDlenara]

"My memory is so bad..." "How bad is it?" "...How bad is what?"

[Donna Kinner @iposobchuk1]

My twitter Is Rated "I" . "I" tweet what the fuck "I" want, when "I" feel like it. Therefore if you don't like it "I" don't give A FUCK!!"

[Julia Flowers @vdrymov]

Me + Mathematics = Syntax error.

[Mary Todd @msibilla1]

This is how ghetto people count: 1) Wahh 2) Two 3) Three 4) Foe 5) Fieee 6) Sih 7) Selm 8) Ate 9) Naa 10) Teh 11) Lem 12) Twehh

[Mary Todd @msibilla1]

On the highest throne in the world, we still sit only on our own bottom.

[Catherine Owens @CoolNepsha]

That awkward moment, when someone get hurt and you laugh ,then you realize that its serious.