Strandad

Scottish Lord surrounded by Americans and trying to laugh it off.

[Strandad @Strandadabroad]

@dadmann_walking Wham: last Christmas…that’s all, it’s your last Christmas.

[Strandad @Strandadabroad]

@dadmann_walking @amberunraveled @jacanamommy @themommylode @IHideFromMyKids @LMemeit @kryzazzy @fullofmomsense @bekindofwitty @frigginfrench @BigToofedBlonde @new_england_dad @StruggleDisplay @visionbored2 @IAmYardDad @tiffanytweets80 @spicydisasterma Thanks so much!

[Helleanor Rigby @Mom_Overboard]

Why haven’t we adjusted National Wine Day to coincide with International Women’s Day? We have the technology

[Helleanor Rigby @Mom_Overboard]

Hey boy are you an advanced degree? Because you took up way too much time and energy but you’re completely useless.

[Strandad @Strandadabroad]

@terrip38 @CallMe_Dimps @iGreenGod @LifePitts @mooseandriosmom @youjustroll @FinsterDavenprt @dadscaped Thanks so much!

[nameberry @nameberry]

As if Einstein wasn't a loaded enough name already!

via @strandadabroad

[Strandad @Strandadabroad]

The worst part of being an adult is that no one remarks on how big you can yawn anymore.

[Helleanor Rigby @Mom_Overboard]

getting into the holiday spirit by using an advent calendar to dispense my anti-anxiety meds

[Auntie Social (parody) @TraciGrrl]

Say what you will about their gaudy costumes and noms de guerre, but at least none of the Batman villains are pretentious enough to insist everyone address them as Dr.

[Strandad @Strandadabroad]

@mahnamematt @perlhack @newdadthoughts @SladeWentworth @bradwrightphd @ADadAndHisJokes @StorvLovesYou @MichaelVogel1 @RodLacroix @Thuggedraccoon @Chhapiness @Average_Dad1 @bigpoppadrunk @checkyourkidsa2 @BastardProphet @JohnnyFrittata Thanks so much!!

[Dad Named Matt 🇺🇸 @mahnamematt]

@perlhack @newdadthoughts @SladeWentworth @bradwrightphd @ADadAndHisJokes @Strandadabroad @StorvLovesYou @MichaelVogel1 @RodLacroix @Thuggedraccoon @Chhapiness @Average_Dad1 @bigpoppadrunk @checkyourkidsa2 @BastardProphet @JohnnyFrittata

[Dad Named Matt 🇺🇸 @mahnamematt]

Some of my fav fella accounts you should see! @CrockettForReal @StoneAgeRadio13 @dadmann_walking @DadSetAgainst @ADHDeanASL @Dad_At_Law @kevinthedad @raoulvilla @DoufSaid @erichwithach @correspundit @daddygofish @CafeinatedBacon @Gupton68 @TheBoydP @Dadof2crazyboys @IAmYardDad

[ADHDean @ADHDeanASL]

Why would I want to control a woman’s body when I can barely hold in my own farts

[The Real Rodney Lacroix @RealRodLacroix]

I don't want to brag, but I’ve already started my holiday weight gain.

[Sam @mastrap84]

Me and the bros at the Cobra Kai dojo are getting our silly little COVID boosters you guys

[Helleanor Rigby @Mom_Overboard]

Trying on clothes in Forever 21 when you're over 30 just provides further proof that we are in fact NOT forever 21

[Auntie Social (parody) @TraciGrrl]

Me: how much is this?
Dollar store clerk: $1
Me: and this?
DSC: $1
Me: what about those?
DSC, sighing: $1
Me: and the stuff on the back wall?
DSC: DAMMIT! EVERYTHING IN HERE IS $1!

Me, holding out a dollar:
One cash register, please.

[Helleanor Rigby @Mom_Overboard]

[extreme north dakotan accent] dontcha wish your girlfriend was hot like me? dontcha?